Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
General
Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
V. Rolled in the mud by the boys of my own
charity-school, whom I had exhorted not to daub
the passers-by.
VI. Abused by their parents for not paying them
25 cents per week for the time I had the boys
at school.
VII. Hustled by tailors, slop-shopkeepers, and
others, for taking part with the needle-women
in a strike.
VIII. Scolded, scratched, and tumbled down
stairs by the needle-women, for advising them
to go into domestic service, and take care of
their morals.
IX. Robbed by a fugitive slave whom I had
concealed three days and nights in my house
from his master.
X. House burnt down by the free blacks (or so
it was suspected) for putting the thief as
aforesaid into jail, so that his master got him.
XI. Whitewashed and libelled on my own back by
the stonecutters, for buying wrought marble out
of the prison.
XII. Tarred and feathered by a gang of the
fancy, whom I exhorted at the ring to peace and
amity.
XIII. Scalded at my own house (which I had
converted, at a season of suffering, into a
gratis soup-house), and with my own soup, by a
beggar, because there was too little meat and
too much salt in it.
XIV. Soused in the canal by a boat-driver, for
rebuking his cruelty to an old barge-horse.
XV. Kicked by the horse for taking his part.
XVI. Scratched by a cat, for taking her out of
a dog's mouth: _item_, bitten by the dog.
XVII. Bitten by a rat, which I rescued from a
cat: item, scratched by the cat.
XVIII. Gored by a cow for helping her calf out
of the mire: _item_, the calf splashed me all
over with mud.
XIX. Beaten about the ears with a half-skinned
eel, by a fishwoman, whom I reproved for
skinning it alive.
Such were some of the unhappy circumstances that rewarded a seven
months' life of philanthropy. But there were others to follow still
more discouraging and afflicting.
CHAPTER IX.
CONTAINING A DIFFICULTY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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