Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
Reader, this is a very wicked world we live in. My philanthropy did not
make me, as philanthropy often does, selfish with my friends. I felt as
much pleasure in obliging one who happened to be in a difficulty, with
a loan of any sum within my reach, as in relieving actual distress. Of
twelve different persons whom I now sought in my dilemma, I had in this
manner, at different times, obliged no less than eleven; of not one
of whom could I now borrow a dollar. Every man pitied my misfortune,
every one inveighed with becoming severity against the villany of those
by whom I was ruined, but every one was astonished that a reasonable
man like me should expect another reasonable man to part with his
money. In short, it was evident that my friends loved borrowing better
than lending; and I left the door of the twelfth with the agreeable
conviction on my spirit, that human nature was of the nature of a
stone, I being the only man of the thousand million in the world that
had actually a heart in my bosom.
This consideration was racking enough; but it made a small part of my
distress. Every man had charged my friend, honest Abel Snipe, with
having swindled me, as Ebenezer Wild had charged before; and every one,
in like manner, swore that my nephew Jonathan had borne a part in the
nefarious transaction. This seemed to me incredible enough; but when
I remembered Jonathan's late behaviour, his unexpected defection, his
hard, unfeeling, nay, his treacherous selfishness, I felt prepared to
believe almost any wickedness that might be said of him.
I ran to Abel's office, resolved to sift the affair to the bottom. The
work was already done to my hands; I found the office full of people,
some of whom were officers of the police, who had seized upon books and
papers, and (awful to be said!) the body of Abel Snipe; and all raging
with vociferation and confusion, except the latter worthy, who looked
as if astounded out of his senses. "It's a clear case of swindling,"
cried a dozen voices as I entered, "a design to defraud--fraud from
beginning to end; flagrant, scandalous, scoundrelly swindling--, nay,
_worse_ than swindling--it is a conspiracy! Jonathan has confessed
it--been going on this three months;--Jonathan has confessed it!"
Jonathan had confessed it! confessed what? Why, confessed, as every one
gave me to understand, and confessed in the hands of justice (for it
seems he had been arrested), that he and Abel Snipe had entered into a
conspiracy to defraud me of my property, which had been carried on from
the moment that the latter was established in business, and was now
completed by a long-designed bankruptcy.
Let the reader imagine my feelings at this disclosure of ingratitude
and villany so monstrous.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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