England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
Pore Bill nearly fell out of ’is bunk, but he saved ’imself at the last
moment and lay there as pale as death, listening.
“It must be meant for Bill,” ses the cook. “Well, pore Bill; he won’t
know of it, that’s one thing. Let’s ’ope it’ll be sudden.”
He lay quiet for some time and then he began again.
“No,” he ses, “it isn’t Bill; it’s Joseph and Emily, stark and stiff,
and they’ve on’y been married a week. ’Ow awful they look! Pore things.
Oh! oh! o-oh!”
He woke up with a shiver and began to groan and then ’e sat up in his
bunk and saw old Bill leaning out and staring at ’im.
“You’ve been dreaming, cook,” ses Bill, in a trembling voice.
“’Ave I?” ses the cook. “How do you know?”
“About me and my niece,” ses Bill; “you was talking in your sleep.”
“You oughtn’t to ’ave listened,” ses the cook, getting out of ’is bunk
and going over to ’im. “I ’ope you didn’t ’ear all I dreamt. ’Ow much
did you hear?”
Bill told ’im, and the cook sat there, shaking his ’ead. “Thank
goodness, you didn’t ’ear the worst of it,” he ses.
“_Worst_!” ses Bill. “Wot, was there any more of it?”
“Lot’s more,” ses the cook. “But promise me you won’t tell Joseph,
Bill. Let ’im be happy while he can; it would on’y make ’im miserable,
and it wouldn’t do any good.”
“I don’t know so much about that,” ses Bill, thinking about the
arguments some of them had ’ad with Ted about the bottle. “Was it arter
they was married, cookie, that it ’appened? Are you sure?”
“Certain sure. It was a week arter,” ses the cook.
“Very well, then,” ses Bill, slapping ’is bad leg by mistake; “if they
didn’t marry, it couldn’t ’appen, could it?”
“Don’t talk foolish,” ses the cook; “they must marry. I saw it in my
dream.”
“Well, we’ll see,” ses Bill. “I’m going to ’ave a quiet talk with
Joseph about it, and see wot he ses. I ain’t a-going to ’ave my pore
gal murdered just to please you and make your dreams come true.”
He ’ad a quiet talk with Joseph, but Joseph wouldn’t ’ear of it at
fust. He said it was all the cook’s nonsense, though ’e owned up that
it was funny that the cook should know about the wedding and Emily’s
name, and at last he said that they would put it afore Emily and let
her decide.
That was about the last dream the cook had that v’y’ge, although he
told old Bill one day that he had ’ad the same dream about Joseph and
Emily agin, so that he was quite certain they ’ad got to be married and
killed. He wouldn’t tell Bill ’ow they was to be killed, because ’e
said it would make ’im an old man afore his time; but, of course, he
’ad to say that _if_ they wasn’t married the other part couldn’t come
true. He said that as he ’ad never told ’is dreams before—except in the
case of Bill’s leg—he couldn’t say for certain that they couldn’t be
prevented by taking care, but p’r’aps, they could; and Bill pointed out
to ’im wot a useful man he would be if he could dream and warn people
in time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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