England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
Peter, wot was standing by blinking and smiling, misunderstood ’im, and
went back inside the pub. Ginger went arter ’im to fetch ’im back, and
hearing a noise turned round and saw the cabman pulling Sam out o’ the
cab. He was just in time to shove ’im back agin, and for the next two
or three minutes ’im and the cabman was ’ard at it. Sam was too busy
holding ’is clothes on to do much, and twice the cabman got ’im ’arf
out, and twice Ginger got him back agin and bumped ’im back in ’is seat
and shut the door. Then they both stopped and took breath.
“We’ll see which gets tired fust,” ses Ginger. “Hold the door inside,
Sam.”
The cabman looked at ’im, and then ’e climbed up on to ’is seat and,
just as Ginger ran back for Peter Russet, drove off at full speed.
Pore Sam leaned back in ’is seat panting and trying to wrap ’imself up
better in the counterpane, which ’ad got torn in the struggle. They
went through street arter street, and ’e was just thinking of a nice
warm bed and a kind nurse listening to all ’is troubles when ’e found
they was going over London Bridge.
“You’ve passed it,” he ses, putting his ’ead out of the winder.
The cabman took no notice, and afore Sam could think wot to make of it
they was in the Whitechapel Road, and arter that, although Sam kept
putting his ’ead out of the winder and asking ’im questions, they kept
going through a lot o’ little back streets until ’e began to think the
cabman ’ad lost ’is way. They stopped at last in a dark little road, in
front of a brick wall, and then the cabman got down and opened a door
and led his ’orse and cab into a yard.
“Do you call this Guy’s Horsepittle?” ses Sam.
“Hullo!” ses the cabman. “Why, I thought I put you out o’ my cab once.”
“I’ll give you five minutes to drive me to the ’orsepittle,” ses Sam.
“Arter that I shall go for the police.”
“All right,” ses the cabman, taking his ’orse out and leading it into a
stable. “Mind you don’t catch cold.”
He lighted a lantern and began to look arter the ’orse, and pore Sam
sat there getting colder and colder and wondering wot ’e was going to
do.
“I shall give you in charge for kidnapping me,” he calls out very loud.
“Kidnapping?” ses the cabman. “Who do you think wants to kidnap you?
The gate’s open, and you can go as soon as you like.”
Sam climbed out of the cab, and holding up the counterpane walked
across the yard in ’is bare feet to the stable. “Well, will you drive
me ’ome?” he ses.
“Cert’inly not,” ses the cabman; “I’m going ’ome myself now. It’s time
you went, ’cos I’m going to lock up.”
“’Ow can I go like this?” ses Sam, bursting with passion. “Ain’t you
got any sense?”
“Well, wot are you going to do?” ses the cabman, picking ’is teeth with
a bit o’ straw.
“Wot would you do if you was me?” ses Sam, calming down a bit and
trying to speak civil.
[Illustration: “‘All right,’ ses the cabman, taking his ’orse out and
leading it into a stable. ‘Mind you don’t catch cold.’”]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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