German fiction -- Translations into English; Short stories, German -- Translations into English
As she drives through the Prater street she wishes that she might feel
something--grief--horror--but she can not. She has but one thought,
one desire--to be at home, in safety. All else is indifferent to her.
When she had decided to leave him alone, dead, by the roadside--in
that moment everything seemed to have died within her, everything that
would mourn and grieve for him. She has no feeling but that of fear
for herself. She is not heartless--she knows that the day will come
when her sorrow will be despair--it may kill her even. But she knows
nothing now, except the desire to sit quietly at home, at the supper
table with her husband and child. She looks out through the cab window.
She is driving through the streets of the inner city. It is brilliantly
light here, and many people hurry past. Suddenly all that she has
experienced in the last few hours seems not to be true, it is like an
evil dream; not something real, irreparable. She stops her cab in one
of the side streets of the Ring, gets out, turns a corner quickly, and
takes another carriage, giving her own address this time. She does not
seem able to think of anything any more. “Where is he now?” She closes
her eyes and sees him on the litter, in the ambulance. Suddenly she
feels that he is here beside her. The cab sways, she feels the terror
of being thrown out again, and she screams aloud. The cab halts before
the door of her home. She dismounts hastily, hurries with light steps
through the house door, unseen by the concierge, runs up the stairs,
opens her apartment door very gently, and slips unseen into her own
room. She undresses hastily, hiding the mud-stained clothes in her
cupboard. To-morrow, when they are dry, she can clean them herself. She
washes hands and face, and slips into a loose housegown.
The bell rings. She hears the maid open the door, she hears her
husband’s voice, and the rattle of his cane on the hat-stand. She feels
she must be brave now or it will all have been in vain. She hurries to
the dining-room, entering one door as her husband comes in at the other.
“Ah, you’re home already?” he asks.
“Why, yes,” she replies, “I have been home some time.”
“They evidently didn’t hear you come in.”
She smiles without effort. But it fatigues her horribly to have to
smile. He kisses her forehead.
The little boy is already at his place by the table. He has been
waiting some time, and has fallen asleep, his head resting on an open
book. She sits down beside him; her husband takes his chair opposite,
takes up a paper, and glances carelessly at it. Then he says: “The
others are still talking away there.”
“What about?” she asks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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