Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
I gives him the cross street and the Broadway number, and he begins
tracin' eager with his finger. Fin'lly he says:
"All correct. Right in the best of the water."
"Eh?" says I. "What's that you've got there?"
"Sailin' directions," says he, smilin' apologetic. "You mustn't mind;
but for a minute there, seein' all the liquor bein' passed around, I
didn't know but what I'd got among the rocks and shoals. But it's all
right. Full ten fathom, and plenty of sea room."
"Too tarry for me," says I. "Meanin' what, now?"
He chuckles easy. "Why, it's this way," says he: "You see, before I
starts from home I talks it over with Cap'n Bill Logan. 'Jim,' says he,
'if you're goin' to cruise around New York you need a chart.'--'Guess
you're right, Cap'n Bill,' says I. 'Fix me up one, won't ye?' And that's
what he done. You see, Cap'n Bill knows New York like a book. Used to
sail down here with ice from the Kennebec, and sometimes, while he was
dischargin' cargo, he'd lay in here for a week at a time. Great hand to
knock around too, Cap'n Bill is, and mighty observin'."
"So he made a map for you, did he?" says I.
"Not exactly," says Mr. Isham. "Found one in an old guide book and fixed
it up like a chart, markin' off the reefs and shoals in red ink, and the
main channels in black fathom figures. Now here's Front and South-sts.,
very shoal, dangerous passin' at any tide. There's a channel up the
Bowery; but it's crooked and full of buoys and beacons. I ain't tackled
that yet. I've stuck to Broadway and Fifth-ave. All clear sailin'
there."
"Think so?" says I. "Let's see that chart?"
He passes it over willin' enough. And, say, for a sailor's guide to New
York, that was a peach! Cap'n Bill Logan's idea seems to have been to
indicate all the crooked joints, gamblin' halls, and such with red
daggers. Must have been some investigator too; for in spots they was
sprinkled thick, with the names written alongside. When I begun readin'
some of 'em, though, I snickers.
"What's this on the Bowery?" says I. "Suicide Hall?"
"You bet!" says he. "Cap'n Bill warned me about that special."
"Did, eh?" says I. "Well, he needn't; for it's been out of business for
years. So has Honest John Kelly's, and Theiss's, and Stevenson's. What
vintage is this, anyway? When was it your friend took in the sights
last?"
"Wall, I guess it's been quite awhile," says Jim Isham, rubbin' his
chin. "Let's see, Bill opened the store in '95, and for a couple of
years before that he was runnin' the shingle mill. Yes, it must have
been nigh twenty years ago."
"Back in the days of the Parkhurst crusade," says I. "Yes, I expect all
them dives was runnin' full blast once. But there ain't one of 'em
left."
"Sho!" says he. "You don't say! Gov'ment been improvin' the channels,
same as they done in Hell Gate?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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