Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
"Both," says Larry. "No. 6 is where I went to do penance when the Earl
and I had our grand smashup. Eighteen months I put in before he settled
an allowance on me. They'll give me another foreman's job. I'll stay
three years this time, saving pay and remittance drafts, and at the end
I'll have hoarded enough to buy an interest, or a ranch of my own.
That's the theory. Actually, I shall probably take an amazing thirst
into Bulgaroo about once a month, buy vile champagne at the Queen's
Arms, and otherwise disport myself like a true sheepherder. The finis
will not sound pretty."
Pinckney stares at him puzzled for a minute, and then turns to me.
"Shorty," says he, "you're a Celt. What do you make of him?"
"My guess is that there's a skirt in the background," says I.
"Oh-ho!" says Pinckney.
"Touched!" says Larry.
Pinckney aims the cigarette case at him, remarkin' savage, "The story or
your life. Come, now!"
Larry springs that wistful, twisty smile of his and goes on. "It
happened here, eight years ago, as I was on my way to No. 6. I'd picked
up a beastly fever somewhere, and I knew not a soul in your blessed
city. So I wabbled into a hospital and let them tuck me away in a cot.
Now grin, blast you! Yes, she was one of the day nurses, Katie McDevitt.
No raving beauty, you know. Ah, but the starry bright eyes of her, the
tender touch of her soft hand, and the quick wits under her white cap!
It wasn't just the mushy sentiment of a convalescent, either. Three
grand weeks afterwards I waited around, going walks with her in the
park, taking her on foolish steamer rides, sending her flowers, notes,
candy. We were rare spoons, and she was as good as she was witty. There
was an idyl for you! Then, when I woke up one day--why, I ran away
without a word! What else could I do? I was bound for an Australian
sheep ranch. And there I went. Since then not a whisper of her. By now
it's quite likely she's the wife of some lucky dog of a doctor, and
never gives me a thought. So why shouldn't I go back?"
"Because, you crack-brained Irishman," says Pinckney, "when you're not
maundering over some such idiocy as this, you're the most entertaining
good-for-nothing that ever graced a dinner table or spread the joy of
life through a dull drawing room. Come home with me for the week-end,
anyway."
"I'll not," says Larry. "I'm a pauper."
"Will you go with Shorty, then?" says Pinckney. "At times he's as absurd
as yourself."
"He's not asked me," says Larry.
"My tongue's drippin' with it," says I. "I had an own cousin come over
from Kerrymull. You'll be welcome."
"Done!" says Larry. "And for board and lodging I'll sing you Ballyshone
after dinner."
So he did too, and if you've ever heard it well sung, you'll know the
lump I had in my throat as I listened. Also I had him tell Sadie about
Katie McDevitt; and when he'd made friends with little Sully and the dog
we could have kept him for a year and a day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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