Si Klegg, Book 3: Si and Shorty Meet Mr. Rosenbaum, the Spy, Who Relates His AdventuresMcElroy, John
History
Si Klegg, Book 3: Si and Shorty Meet Mr. Rosenbaum, the Spy, Who Relates His Adventures
McElroy, John
Indiana -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Spy stories; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
"Keep her in there till daylight," said 'Squire Corson, "and then
restore me to my home and functions,{252} and I'll call out a posse
comitatus, and have her publicly ducked, according to the laws of the
land, as a common scold. I've never heard such vile language as she
applied to me when I gave her the advice it was my duty to give to live
in peace and quietness with her husband. That there woman's a Niagary of
cuss words and abuse."
"If yo' let her out, take me outside with yo'," begged Jeff Hackberry.
"She'll kill me, sho', if I've to stay in here till mornin' with her.
She begun by flingin' a bag o' red pepper in my face, and set us all to
sneezin' until I thought the 'Squire'd sneeze his durned head off. Then
she jobbed me with a bayonet, and acted as no woman orter act toward her
lawful husband, no matter how long they'd bin married, let alone their
weddin' night."
"Sorry, but it's agin all my principles to separate man and wife," said
Shorty, as he moved to the puncheon trap-door and undid the hasp. "You
took her for better or worse, and it's too early in the game to complain
that you found her a blamed sight worse than you took her for. You're
one now, you know, and must stay that way until death do you part."
Shorty lifted up the trap-door, and Si helped the woman out with some
difficulty. They expected a torrent of abuse, but she seemed limp and
silent, and sank down on the floor. The boys picked her up and laid her
on the bed beside Jeff Hackberry. "She's fainted; she's dead. She's bin
sufferkated in that hole," said Jeff.
"No, yo' punkin-headed fool," she gasped. "I hain't dead, nor I hain't
fainted, nor I hain't{253} sufferkated. Yo'll find out when I git my
wind back a little, I'm so full o' mad an' spite that I'm done tuckered
clean out. I'm clean beat, so clean beat that I hain't no words to fit
the 'casion. I've got t' lay still an' think an' gether up some."
"She's comin' to, Shorty," said Si. "It'll be pleasanter outside."
"You say you have been having unusually exciting times," said Si to
Rosenbaum, as the boys again seated themselves by the fire.
"Veil, I should say so," replied Rosenbaum with emphasis. "Do you know
that General Bragg is the very worst man that ever lived?"
"All rebels are bad," said Shorty oracularly. "But I suppose that some
are much worse than others. I know that the private soldiers are awful,
and I suppose the higher you go the wuss they are. The Corporals are
cussider than the privates, the Sergeants can give the Corporals points
in devilishness, and so it goes on up until the General commanding an
army must be one of the devil's favorite imps, while Jeff Davis is Old
Horney's junior partner."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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