Si Klegg, Book 3: Si and Shorty Meet Mr. Rosenbaum, the Spy, Who Relates His AdventuresMcElroy, John
History
Si Klegg, Book 3: Si and Shorty Meet Mr. Rosenbaum, the Spy, Who Relates His Adventures
McElroy, John
Indiana -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Spy stories; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
"I'm looking fur a man called Si Klegg," they heard behind them. Looking
around they saw the tall, gaunt woman whom they had turned back from
entering the camp a few days before, under the belief that she was
trying to smuggle in whisky.
"What in the world can she want o' me?" thought Si; but he answered:
"That's my name. What'll you have?"
A flash of recognition filled at once her faded blue eyes. Without
taking her pipe from between her yellow, snaggly teeth she delivered
a volley of tobacco-juice at an unoffending morning-glory, and snapped
out:
"O, y'r him, air ye? Y'r the dratted measly{180} sapsucker that bounced
me 'bout takin' likker inter camp. What bizniss wuz hit o' your'n
whether I tuk likker in or not? Jest wanted t' be smart, didn't ye? Jest
wanted t' interfere with a lone, lorn widder lady makin' a honest livin'
for herself and 10 children. My ole man ketched the black ager layin'
out in the brush to dodge the conscripters. It went plumb to his heart
an' killed him. He wa'n't no great loss, nohow, fur he'd eat more in a
week than he'd kill, ketch, or raise in a year. When his light went out
I'd only one less mouth to feed, and got rid o' his jawin' an' cussin'
all the time. But that hain't nothin' t' do with you. You 's jest
puttin' on a lettle authority kase ye could. But all men air alike
that-a-way. Elect a man Constable, an' he wants t' put on more airs than
the Guv-nor; marry him, an' he makes ye his slave."
"I should think it'd be a bold man that'd try to make you his slave.
Madam," Si ventured.
"Y' she'd think," she retorted, with her arms akimbo. "Who axed y' t'
think, young feller? What d' y' do hit with. Why d' y' strain y'rself
doin' somethin' y' ain't used t'?"
It did Shorty so much good to see Si squelched, that he chuckled aloud
and called out:
"Give it to him, old Snuff-Dipper. He's from the Wabash, an' hain't no
friends. He's bin itchin' a long time for jest such a skinnin' as you're
givin' him."
"Who air y' callin' Snuff-Dipper?" she retorted, turning angrily
on Shorty. "What've ye got t' say agin snuff-dippin', anyway,
y' terbacker-chawin', likker-guzzlin', wall-oyed, splay-footed,
knock-kneed{181} oaf? What air y' greasy hirelings a-comin' down heah
fo', t' sass and slander Southern ladies, who air yo' superiors?"
"Give it to him, old Corncob Pipe," yelled Si "He needs lambastin'
worse'n any man in the regiment. But what did you want to see me for?"
"I wanted to see yo' bekase I got a letter to yo' from a friend o' mine,
who said yo' wuz gentlemen, an' rayly not Yankees at all. He said that
yo' wuz forced into the army agin yo' will."
"Gracious, what a liar that man must be," murmured Shorty to himself.
"An' yo' rayly had no heart to fight for the nigger, an' that yo'd treat
me like a sister."
"A sister," Shorty exploded internally. "Think of a feller's havin' a
sister like that. Why, I wouldn't throw her in a soap-grease barrel."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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