United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; War stories
When this was opened Si read:
"Dear Boys: Now you will understand the comb business. I wanted to make
sure that my letter reached the right men, and the combs were the only
things I could think of at the moment. Mrs. B. will prize them, though
she will never think of using them, either on herself or one of her
shock-headed brats. I want you to play it on her as far as your
consciences will allow. Pretend that you are awful sick of this
Abolition war, and tired fighting for the nigger, and all that stuff.
Make her the happiest184 woman in Tennessee by giving her all the coffee
you can spare. That will fetch her quicker and surer than anything else.
Like most Southern women, she is a coffee-drinker first and a rebel
afterward, and if some preacher would tell her that heaven is a place
where she will get all the Yankee coffee she can drink, she would go to
church regularly for the rest of her life. Tell her a lot of news—as
much of it true as you can and think best; as much of it otherwise as
you can invent. Follow her cautiously when she leaves camp. Don't let
her see you do so. You will find that she will lead you to a nest of
spies, and the place where all the whisky is furnished to sell in camp.
I write you thus freely because I am certain that this will get in your
hands. I know that your regiment is out here, because I have been
watching it for a week, with reference to its being attacked. It won't
be for at least awhile, for there's another hen on. But make up to the
old lady as much as your consciences and stomachs will allow you. It
will be for the best interests of the service.
"Sincerely your friend, Levi Rosenbaum."
"I wonder what game Levi is up to?" Si said, as he stood with the letter
in his hand and looked at the woman. "I'll give her all the coffee I can
and be very civil to her, but that's as far as I'll go. The old rebel
cat. I'll not lie to her for 40 Levi Rosenbaums."
"Well, I will," said Shorty. "You fix her up with the coffee, and leave
the rest to me. I always had a fancy for queer animals, and run off from
home once to travel with a menagerie. I'd like to take her up185 North
and start a side-show with her. 'The Queen o' the Raccoon Mountains,' or
the 'Champion Snuff-Dipper o' the Sequatchie Valley.' How'd that do for
a sign?"
"Well, go ahead," said Si. "But expect no help from me."
"Mr. Klegg, when I want your help in courtin' a lady I'll let you know,"
said Shorty with dignity. Si went back to the tent to see about getting
the coffee, and Shorty approached Mrs. Bolster with an engaging
expression on his countenance. She was knocking the ashes out of her
pipe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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