Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
"I hardly feel equal to doing just that," says the Bishop in his mild
way. "Now if you could only----"
"Why, sure!" says I. "It'd do me good to take a whirl out of that
Englishman. I'll make him give up!"
He's a bird though, that Kupps. I hadn't talked with him two minutes
before I would have bet my pile he knew all about where Ferdy was
roostin' and what he was up to; but when it come to draggin' out the
details, you might just as well have been tryin' to pry up a pavin'
stone with a fountain pen. Was Ferdy in town, or out of town, and when
would he be back? Kupps couldn't say. He wouldn't even tell how long
it was since he had seen Ferdy last. And say, you know how pig headed
one of them hen brained Cockneys can be? I feels my collar gettin'
tight.
"Look here, Hiccups!" says I. "You----"
"Kupps, sir," says he. "Thomas Kupps is my full nyme, sir."
"Well, Teacups, then, if that suits you better," says I. "You don't
seem to have got it into your head that the Bishop ain't just buttin'
in here for the fun of the thing. This matter of retrievin' Ferdy is
serious. Now you're sure he didn't leave any private messages, or
notes or anything of that kind?"
"Nothink of the sort, sir; nothink whatever," says Kupps.
"Well, you just show us up to his rooms," says I, "and we'll have a
look around for ourselves. Eh, Bishop?"
"Perhaps it would be the best thing to do," says the Bishop.
Kupps didn't want to do it; but I gives him a look that changes his
mind, and up we goes. I was thinkin' that if Ferdy had got chilly feet
at the last minute and done the deep dive, maybe he'd left a few lines
layin' around his desk. There wa'n't anything in sight, though;
nothin' but a big photograph of a wide, full chested lady, propped up
against the rail.
"That don't look much like the fair Alicia," says I.
The Bishop puts on his nigh-to glasses and says it ain't. He thinks it
must have been took of a lady that he'd seen Ferdy chinnin' at the
house party, where he got his last glimpse of him.
"Good deal of a hummin' bird, she is, eh?" says I, pickin' it up.
"Tutty tut! Look what's here!" Behind it was a photo of Alicia.
"And here's somethin' else," says I. On the back of the big picture
was scribbled, "From Ducky to Ferdy," and the date.
"Yesterday!" gasps the Bishop.
"Well, well!" says I. "That's advancin' the spark some! If he meets
her only a week or so ago, and by yesterday she's got so far as bein'
his ducky, it looks like Alicia'd have to get out and take the car
ahead."
The Bishop acts stunned, gazin' from me to the picture, as if he'd been
handed one on the dizzy bone. "You--you don't mean," says he, "that
you suspect Ferdy of--of----"
"I hate to think it," says I; "but this looks like a quick shift.
Kupps, who's Ferdy's lady friend?"
"Mr. Dobson didn't sye, sir," says Kupps.
"Very thoughtless of him," says I. "Come on, Bishop, we'll take this
along as a clue and see what Vandy has to say."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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