Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
That simmers him down, and I could see he wanted to be confidential the
worst way. He wouldn't let go of her name; but I gathers it's some one
he's known for quite a spell, and that she's sent him a special invite
for this evenin'.
"Asks me to call around, see?" says he. "Now, I put it up to you,
Shorty, don't that look like I got some standin' with her?"
"She must think pretty well of you, that's a fact," says I, "and I
judge that you're willin' to be her honey boy. Ain't got the ring in
your vest pocket, have you?"
"Maybe that ain't so much of a joke as you think," says he, settin' the
bean pod lid a little more on one side.
"Z-z-z-ipp!" says I. "That's goin' some! Well, well, but you are a
cute one, Swifty. Why, I never suspicioned such a thing. Luck to you,
my lad, luck to you!" and I pats him on the back. "I don't know what
chances you had before; but in that rig you can't lose."
"I guess it helps," says he, twistin' his neck to get a back view.
He was puttin' on the last touches when I left. Course, I was some
stunned, specially by the Fifth-ave. part of it. But then, it's a long
street, and it's gettin' so now that all kinds lives on it.
I was a little behind sched. when I gets to Sherry's, where I was to
pick up Sadie and Mrs. Purdy Pell; but at that it was ten or fifteen
minutes before they gets the tourin' car called up and we're all tucked
away inside. It don't take us long to cover the distance, though, and
at twenty to nine we hauls up at Miss Belter's number. I was just
goin' to pile out when I gets a glimpse of a pair of bright yellow
shoes carryin' a human checker board.
"S-s-s-sh!" says I to the ladies. "Wait up a second till we see where
he goes."
"Why, who is it?" says Sadie.
"Swifty Joe," says I. "You might not think it from the rainbow
uniform, but it's him. That's the way he dresses the part when he
starts out to kneel to his lady love."
"Really!" says Mrs. Pell. "Is he going to do that?"
"Got it straight from him," says I. "There! he's worked his courage
up. Now he takes the plunge."
"Why!" says Sadie, "that is Miss Belter's number he's going into."
"She don't live on all five floors, does she?" says I.
"No; but it's odd, just the same," says she.
I thought so myself; so I gives 'em the whole story of how I come to
know about what he was up to. By that time he was climbing the stairs,
and as soon as we finds the right door I forgets all about Swifty in
sizin' up Cornelia Ann.
Say, what a difference a little of the right kind of dry goods will
make in a girl, won't it? The last I saw of Cornie she was wearin' a
skirt that sagged in the back, a punky lid that might have come off the
top of an ash can, and shoes that had run over at the heel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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