Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
Well, all you had to do to get the answer was to watch Swifty follow
her around with his eyes. You'd thought, findin' himself in a bunch of
top-notchers like that, and rigged out the way he was, he'd been
feelin' like a green strawb'ry in the bottom of the basket. But
nothin' of that kind had leaked through his thick skull. Cornie was
there, and he was there, dressed accordin' to his own designs, and he
was contented and happy as a turtle on a log, believin' the rest of us
had only butted in.
I was feelin' all cut up over his break, and tryin' to guess how
Cornelia was standin' it, when she floats up to me and says:
"Wasn't it sweet of Mr. Gallagher to come? Have you seen him?"
"Seen him!" says I. "You don't notice any bandage over my eyes, do
you? Notice the get up. Why, he looks like a section of a billboard."
"Oh, I don't mind his clothes a bit," says she. "I think he's real
picturesque. Besides, I haven't forgotten that he used to pose for me
when hiring models meant going without meals. I wish you would see
that he doesn't get lonesome before I have a chance to speak to him
again."
"He don't look like he needed any chirkin' up," says I; "but I'll go
give him the howdy."
So I trots over to the yellow shade and ranges myself up in front of
him. "You might's well own up, Swifty," says I. "Is Cornie the one?"
"Uh-huh," says he.
"Told her about it yet?" says I.
"Ahr, chee!" says he. "Give a guy a chance."
"Sure," says I. "But go slow, Joey, go slow."
I don't know how it happened, for all I told about it was Sadie and
Mrs. Purdy Pell; but it wa'n't long before everyone in the joint was
next to Swifty, and was pipin' him off. They all has to be introduced
and make a try at gettin' him to talk. For awhile he has the time of
his life. Mostly he just grins; but now and then he throws in an "Ahr,
chee!" that knocks 'em silly.
The only one that don't fall for what's up is Cornelia Ann. She gets
him to help her pass out the teacups and the cake, and tells everyone
about how Swifty helped her out on the model business when she was
livin' on pickled pigs' feet and crackers. Fin'lly folks begins to dig
out their wraps and come up to tell her how they'd had a bully time.
But Joe never makes a move.
Sadie and Mrs. Pell wa'n't in any hurry either, and the first thing I
knows there's only the five of us left. I see Sadie lookin' from Joe
to Cornie, and then passin' Mrs. Pell the smile. Cornelia Ann sees it
too, and she has a synopsis of the precedin' chapters all in a minute.
But she don't get flustered a bit. She sails over to the coat room,
gets Swifty's lid, and comes luggin' it out.
"I'm awfully glad you came, Mr. Gallagher," says she, handin' out the
bean pot, "and I hope to see you again when I have another
reception--next year."
"Eh?" says Swifty, like he was wakin' up from a dream. "Next year!
Why, I thought that--"
"Yes, but you shouldn't," says she. "Good night."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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