Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
Purdy thinks that over for a minute or so. Then he raps his cane on
the rubber mat, straightens up his shoulders, and says, "By Jove, I'll
do it! I'll get the snakes!"
That wa'n't so easy, though, as I'd thought. Lefty White says he's
sorry, but he runs a mighty small stock of snakes in winter. He's got
a fine line of spring goods on the way, though, and if we'll just leave
our order----
"Ah, say, Lefty!" says I. "You give me shootin' pains. Here I goes
and cracks up your joint as a first class snakery and all you can show
is a few angleworms in bottles and a prospectus of what you'll have
next month."
"Stuffed ones wouldn't do, eh?" says he.
"Why not?" says I.
Purdy wa'n't sure, but he thought he'd take a chance on 'em; so we
picked out three of the biggest and spottedest ones in the shop, and
makes Lefty promise to get 'em up there early next forenoon, for
Valentine was due to show up by dinner time next night.
On the way back we talks it over some more, and I tries to chirk Purdy
up all I could; for every time he thinks of Bombazoula he has a
shiverin' fit that nearly knocks him out.
"I could never stand it to go there," says he--"never!"
"Here, here!" says I. "That's no way to meet a thing like this. What
you want to do is to chuck a bluff. Jump right into this reception
business with both feet and let on you're tickled to death with the
prospect. Aunty won't take half the satisfaction in shunting you off
to the monkey woods if she thinks you want to go."
Beats all what a little encouragement will do for some folks. By the
time Purdy drops me at the Studio he's feelin' a whole lot better, and
is prepared to give Vally the long lost brother grip when he comes.
But I was sorry for Purdy just the same. I could see him, over there
at Bombazoula, in a suit of lavender pajamas, tryin' to organise a
cotillion with a lot of heavy weight brunettes, wearin' brass rings in
their noses and not much else. And all next day I kept wonderin' if
Aunt Isabella's scheme was really goin' to pan. So, when Purdy rushes
in about four o'clock, and wants me to come up and take a look at the
layout, I was just about ripe for goin' to see the show.
"But I hope we can shy aunty," says I. "Sometimes I get along with
these old battle axes first rate, and then again I don't; and what
little reputation you got left at home I don't want to queer."
"Oh, that will be all right," says Purdy. "She has heard of you from
Pinckney, and she knows about how you helped me to get the snakes."
"Did they fit in?" says I.
"Come up and see," says Purdy.
And it was worth the trip, just to get a view of them rooms. Nobody
but a batty old woman would have ever thought up so many jungle stunts
for the second floor of a brownstone front.
"There!" says Purdy. "Isn't that tropical enough?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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