"I wonder what you really think of me, Peter," she went on. "I suppose
you think I never can be serious--no, I won't say serious--conventional.
But you're very stupid; we all of us can be, and must be sometimes. You
asked me just now what I thought of your friend--well, I'll tell you.
He is as different from you as possible. He has his thoughts, no doubt,
but he prefers to be very tidy. He takes refuge in the things you throw
overboard. He's not at all my sort, and he's not yours either, in a way.
Goodness knows what will happen to either of us, but he'll be Captain
Langton to the end of his days. I envy that sort of person intensely,
and when I meet him I put on armour. See?"
Peter stared at her. "How is he different from Donovan?" he asked.
"Donovan! Oh, Lord, Peter, how dull you are! Donovan has hardly a thought
in his head about anything except Donovan. He was born a jolly good sort,
and he's sampled pretty well everything. He's cool as a cucumber, though
he has his passions like everyone else. If you keep your head, you can
say or do anything with Donovan. But Langton is deliberate. He knows
about things, and he refuses and chooses. I didn't want ..." She broke
off. "Peter," she said savagely, "in two minutes that man would know more
about me than you do, if I let him."
He had never seen her so. The childish brown eyes had a look in them that
reminded him of an animal caught in a trap. He sprang up and dropped on
his knees by her side, catching her hand.
"Oh, Julie, don't," he said. "What do you mean? What is there about you
that I don't know? How are you different from either of them?"
She threw her cigarette away, and ran her fingers through his hair, then
made a gesture, almost as if pushing something away, Peter thought, and
laughed her old ringing trill of laughter.
"Lor', Peter, was I tragic? I didn't mean to be, my dear. There's a lot
about me that you don't know, but something that you've guessed. I can't
abide shams and conventions really. Let's have life, I say, whatever it
is. Heavens! I've seen street girls with more in them than I pretended to
your friend to have in me to-night. They at least deal with human nature
in the raw. But that's why I love you; there's no need to pretend to you,
partly because, at bottom, you like real things as much as I, and partly
because--oh, never mind."
"Julie, I do mind--tell me," he insisted.
Her face changed again. "Not now, Peter," she said. "Perhaps one day--who
can say? Meantime, go on liking me, will you?"
"Like you!" he exclaimed, springing up, "Why, I adore you! I love you!
Oh, Julie, I love you! Kiss me, darling, now, quick!"
She pushed him off. "Not now," she cried; "I've got to have my revenge.
I know why you wouldn't come home in the cab! Come! we'll clink glasses,
but that's all there is to be done to-night!" She sprang up, flushed and
glowing, and held out an empty glass.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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