Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
At home Michael much enjoyed his mother’s company, although he
was now in the cold dawn of affection for anything save Alan.
He no longer was shocked by his mother’s solicitude or
demonstrativeness, fearful of offending against the rigid
standards of the private school or the uncertain position of a
new boy at a public school. He yielded gracefully to his
mother’s pleasure in his company out of a mixture of politeness
and condescension; but he always felt that when he gave up for
an hour the joys of the world for the cloister of domesticity,
he was conferring a favour. At this period nothing troubled him
at all save his position in the School and the necessity to
spend every available minute with Alan. The uncertainty of his
father’s position which had from time to time troubled him was
allayed by the zest of existence, and he never bothered to
question his mother at all pertinaciously. In every way he was
making a pleasant pause in his life to enjoy the new emotion of
self-confidence, his distinction in football, his popularity
with contemporaries and seniors and his passion for the
absolute identification of Alan’s behaviour with his and his
own with Alan’s. At home every circumstance fostered this
attitude. Alone with his mother, Michael was singularly free to
do as he liked, and he could always produce from the past
precedents which she was unable to controvert for any whim he
wished to establish as a custom. In any case,
Mrs. Fane seemed to enjoy spoiling him, and Michael was no
longer averse from her praise of his good looks and from the
pleasure she expressed in the company of Alan and himself at a
concert or matinée. Another reason for Michael’s nonchalant
happiness was his normality. Nowadays he looked at himself in
the old wardrobe that once had power to terrify him with
nocturnal creakings, and no longer did he deplore his thin
arms and legs, no longer did he mark the diffidence of the
sensitive small boy. Now he could at last congratulate himself
upon his ability to hold his own with any of his equals
whether with tongue or fist. Now, too, when he went to bed, he
went to bed as serenely as a kitten, curling himself up to
dream of sport with mice. Sometimes Alan on Friday night would
accompany him to spend the week-end at Carlington Road, and
when he did so, the neighbourhood was not allowed to be
oblivious of the event. In the autumnal dusk Michael and he
would practise drop-kicks and high punts in the middle of the
street, until the ball had landed twice in two minutes on the
same balcony to the great annoyance of the ‘skivvy,’ who was
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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