Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
what they supposed to be irrefutable questions. In the spring
Michael made his first Confession and was confirmed. The first
Confession had more effect on his imagination than the
Confirmation, which in retrospect seemed chiefly a sensation
of disappointment that the Bishop in view of the crisis in the
Church refused to wear the mitre temptingly laid out for him
by Mr. Viner. The Confession, however, was a true test of
Michael’s depth. Mr. Viner was by no means a priest who only
thought of candles and lace. He was a gaunt and humorous man,
ready to drag out from his penitents their very souls.
Michael found that first Confession an immense strain upon his
truthfulness and pluck, and he made up his mind never to commit
another mortal sin, so deeply did he blush in the agony of
revelation. Venial faults viewed in the aggregate became
appalling, and the real sins, as one by one Michael compelled
himself to admit them, stabbed his self-consciousness with
daggers of shame. Michael had a sense of completeness which
prevented him from making a bad Confession, from gliding over
his sins and telling half-truths, and having embarked upon the
duties of his religion he was not going to avoid them. The
Confession seemed to last for ever. Beforehand, Michael had
supposed there would be only one commandment whose detailed
sins would make his heart beat with the difficulty of
confessing them; but when he knelt in the empty church before
the severe priest, every breach of the other commandments
assumed a demoniac importance. Michael thought that never
before could Father Viner have listened to such a narration of
human depravity from a boy of fifteen, or even from a man full
grown. He half expected to see the priest rise in the middle
and leave his chair in disgust. Michael felt beads of sweat
trickling from his forehead: the strain grew more terrible:
the crucifix before him gave him no help: the book he held
fell from his fingers. Then he heard the words of absolution,
tranquil as evening bells. The inessentials of his passionate
religion faded away in the strength and beauty of God’s
acceptation of his penitence. Outside in the April sunlight
Michael could have danced his exultation, before he ran home
winged with the ecstasy of a light heart.
Chapter VI: _Pax_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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