Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
“I’ve been thinking a good deal lately about this war,”
Michael declared. “I’m beginning to doubt whether it’s a just
war, whether we didn’t simply set out on it for brag and
money. I’m not sure that I want to see the Boers conquered.
They’re a small independent nation, and they have
old-fashioned ideas and they’re narrow-minded
Bible-worshippers, but there’s something noble about them,
something much nobler than there is in these rotten
adventurers who go out to fight them. Of course, I don’t mean
by that people like Captain Ross or Lord Saxby. They’re
gentlemen. They go either because it’s their duty or because
they think it’s their duty. And they’re the ones that get
killed. You don’t hear of these swaggerers in khaki being
killed. I haven’t heard yet of many of them even going to the
front at all. Oh, mother, I am fed up with the rotten core of
everything that looks so fine on the outside.”
Mrs. Fane was now crying loud enough to make Michael stop in sudden
embarrassment.
“I say, mother, don’t cry. I expect I’ve been talking nonsense,” he
softly told her.
“I don’t know where you get these views. I was always so proud of you.
I thought you were charming and mysterious, and you’re simply vulgar!”
“Vulgar?” echoed Michael in dismay.
Mrs. Fane nodded vehemently.
“Oh, well, if I’m vulgar, I’ll go.”
Michael hurried to the door.
“Where are you going?” asked his mother in alarm.
“Oh, Lord, only to school. That’s what makes a scene like this so
funny. After I’ve worked myself up and made you angry——”
“Not angry, dear. Only grieved,” interrupted his mother.
“You were more than grieved when you said I was vulgar. At
least I hope you were. But, after it’s all over,
I go trotting off like a good little boy to school—to
school—to school. Oh, mother, what is the good of expecting me
to believe in the finest fellows in the world being killed,
while I’m still at school? What’s the good of making me more
wretched, more discontented, more alive to my own futile
existence by asking me now, when he’s going away, to make
friends with Lord Saxby? Oh, darling mother, can’t you realize
that I’m no longer a little boy who wants to clap his hands at
the sight of a red coat? Let me kiss you, mother, I’m sorry I
was vulgar, but I’ve minded so dreadfully about Captain Ross,
and it’s all for nothing.”
Mrs. Fane let herself be petted by her son, but she did not again ask
Michael to see Lord Saxby before he went away to the war.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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