Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
It gave Michael a consciousness of a new and most affectionate intimacy
to find his mother alone in the house in Cheyne Walk. It was scarcely
yet September, and the desolation of London all around seemed the more
sharply to intagliate upon his senses the fineness of his mother’s
figure set in the frame of that sedate house. They had tea together in
her own room, and it struck him with a sudden surprise to see her once
again in black. The room with its rose du Barri and clouded pastels
sustained her beauty and to her somber attire lent a deeper poignancy;
or perhaps it was something apart from the influence of the room, this
so incontestable pathos, and was rather the effect of the imprisonment
of her elusiveness by a chain whose power Michael had not suspected.
Always, for nearly as many years as he could remember, when he had
kissed her she had seemed to evade the statement of any positive and
ordinary affection. Her personality had fluttered for a moment to his
embrace and fled more than swiftly. In one moment as Michael kissed her
now, the years were swept away, and he was sitting up for an extra half
hour at the seaside, while she with her face flushed by another August
sunset was leaning over him. The river became the sea, and the noise of
the people on the Embankment were the people walking on the promenade
below. In one moment as Michael kissed her now, her embrace gave to him
what it had not given during all the years between—a consciousness that
he depended upon her life.
“Dearest boy,” she murmured, “how good of you to come back so quickly
from the Carthews!”
“But I would much rather be with you,” said Michael.
Indeed, as he sat beside her holding her hand, he wondered to himself
how he had been able to afford to miss so many opportunities of sitting
like this, and immediately afterward wondered at himself for being able
to sit like this without any secret dread that he was making himself
absurd by too much demonstrativeness. After all, it was very easy to
show emotion even to one’s mother without being ridiculous.
“Poor Dicky Prescott,” she said, and tears quickly blurred her great
gray eyes and hung quivering on the shadowy lashes beneath. Michael
held her hand closer when he saw she was beginning to cry. He felt no
awe of her grief, as he had when she told him of his father’s death.
This simpler sorrow brought her so much nearer to him. She was speaking
of Prescott’s death as she might have spoken of the loss of a cherished
possession, a dog perhaps or some familiar piece of jewelry.
“I shall never get used to not having him to advise me. Besides, he was
the only person to whom I could talk about Charles—about your father.
Dicky was so bound up with all my life. So long as he was alive, I had
some of the past with me.”
Michael nodded with comprehending gravity of assent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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