Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
“I expect if he were alive,” she went on softly, “he would wonder how
time could have gone by so quickly since he was here. People always do,
don’t they, when they revisit places they’ve known in younger days?
When he was here, I must have been about fifteen. Funny, severe,
narrow-minded old father!”
Michael waited rather anxiously. She had never yet spoken of her life
before she met his father, and he had never brought himself to ask her.
“Funny old man! He was at Cambridge—Trinity College, I think it was
called.”
Then she was silent for a while, and Michael knew that she was linking
her father and his father in past events; but still she did not voice
her thoughts, and whatever joys or miseries of that bygone time were
being recalled were still wrapped up in her reserve: nor did Michael
feel justified in trying to persuade her to unloose them, even here in
this majestic enclosure that would have engulfed them all as soon as
they were free.
“You’re not cold?” he tenderly demanded.
Surely upon his arm she had shivered.
“No, but I think we’ll go back to the ballroom,” she sighed.
Michael felt awed when their feet grated again in movement over the
gravel. Behind them in the quadrangle there were ghosts, and the noise
of walking here seemed sacrilegious upon this moonless and heavy summer
night. Presently, however, two couples came laughing into the lamplight
at the corner. The sense of decorous creeds outraged by his mother’s
behavior of long ago vanished in the relief that present youth gave
with its laughing company and fashionable frocks. Beside such
heedlessness it were vain to conjure too remorsefully the past. After
all, Peckwater was a place in which young men should crack whips and
shout to one another across window-boxes; here there should be no
tombs. Michael and his mother went on their way to the hall, and soon
the music of the waltzing filled magically the lamplit entries of the
great college, luring them to come back with light hearts, so
importunate was the gaiety.
Michael rather reproached himself afterward for not trying to take
advantage of his mother’s inclination to yield him a more extensive
confidence. He was sure Stella would not have allowed the opportunity
to slip by so in a craven embarrassment; or was it rather a fine
sensitiveness, an imaginative desire to let the whole of that history
lie buried in whatever poor shroud romance could lend it? As he was
thinking of Stella, herself came toward him over the shining floor of
the ballroom emptied for the interval between two dances. How
delicately flushed she was and how her gray eyes were lustered with joy
of the evening, or perhaps with fortunate tidings. Michael was struck
by the direct way in which she was coming toward him without bothering
through self-consciousness to seem to find him unexpectedly.
“Come for a walk with me in the moonlight,” she said, taking his arm.
“There’s no moon yet, but I’ll take you for a walk.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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