Sink or swim? : $b a novel; vol. 3/3Houstoun, Mrs. (Matilda Charlotte)
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Sink or swim? : $b a novel; vol. 3/3
Houstoun, Mrs. (Matilda Charlotte)
English fiction -- 19th century
“DEAR MR. VAVASOUR,--I am afraid you will think me foolish” (Honor
did not entertain any such alarm, but the sentence appeared to her
in the light of the proper thing, so she allowed it to stand), “but
since my return home--which was very sudden, as Mr. Beacham would
not even allow me to say good-bye to my father--I have been made
too unhappy and too angry to stay here any longer. It is not so
much because of my husband, who would be good to me if he was
allowed, but on account of old Mrs. Beacham, who has grown crosser
than ever, and who quite hates me now, I am sure. I would bear it
if I could, but I cannot; so to-day I go up to London, and shall
soon, I hope, get a place of some kind through your help. I should
like to be nursery governess best, as I was before, at the Clays’,
and should like to begin directly, as I have not much money. I
shall be called Honor Blake, as I was before; and John will know
nothing, any more than my father or other friends, excepting you,
where I am. When I am in London, I will write again to you, to say
where I am. Please to burn this; and believe, with a great many
thanks, that I am your grateful friend,
“HONOR BEACHAM.
“P.S.--I was so sorry to leave the play; you will tell me when we
meet how it ended.”
After writing this letter, the child of impulse by whom it was penned
felt, for the time requisite to perfect her arrangements, equal to any
emergency. With the letter directed to Arthur Vavasour in her pocket, a
something of his actual presence seemed to support and strengthen her.
That letter, she doubted not, would bring joy--not guilty joy--that, to
do her only justice, Honor never suspected--to the heart that desired
her happiness, and was glad to sun itself in her presence. That any
wrong was done to the trusting wife of her friend, by that friend’s
kindly feelings towards herself, Honor was innocent of imagining. She
believed in this young man’s virtuous attachment, and gratefully enjoyed
the comfort of her convictions.
The hardest task which she had to perform--for she could not wholly
divest herself of the idea that John, in his blundering, unattractive
way, did cherish, and would for a time grieve over her loss--was the
inditing of a farewell missive to her husband. Two attempts did she make
ere she could express in a few words the contradictory sentiments which
caused, in spite of herself, the tears to fall over the paper, and which
made the pen with which she wrote look misty between her agitated
fingers. At last the painful duty was over, and the words that were so
soon to shake the frame of the strong man who read them like a reed, ran
as follows:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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