That the unlooked-for presence of his wife had irritated and embarrassed
the old man, was plain to the least observant. The stern expression of
his features; the steadfast way in which he gazed into the body of
the court, to avoid even a chance glance at the gallery; the fretful
impatience with which he moved his hands restlessly amongst his
papers,--all showed discomposure and uneasiness. Still, it was well
known that the moment he was called on for a mental effort intellect
ever assumed the mastery over temper, and all felt that when he should
arise not a trace of embarrassment would remain to mar the calm dignity
of his manner.
It was amidst a hushed silence that he stood up, and said: “Mr. Chief
Sergeant, and Gentlemen of the Bar: I had intended to-day,--I had even
brought down with me some notes of a reply which I purposed to make to
the more than flattering address which you so graciously offered to me.
I find, however, that I have overrated the strength that remains to
me. I find I have measured my power to thank you by the depth of my
gratitude, and not by the vigor of my frame. I am too weak to say all
that I feel, and too deeply your debtor to ask you to accept less than I
owe you. Had the testimony of esteem you presented to me only alluded to
those gifts of mind and intellect with which a gracious Providence was
pleased to endow me,--had you limited yourself to the recognition of the
lawyer and the judge,--I might possibly have found strength to assure
you that I accepted your praise with the consciousness that it was not
all unmerited. The language of your address, however, went beyond this;
your words were those of regard, even of affection. I am unused to such
as these, gentlemen,--they unsettle--they unman me. Physicians tell us
that the nerves of the student acquire a morbid and diseased acuteness
for want of those habits of action and physical exertion which more
vulgar organizations practise. So do I feel that the mental faculties
gain an abnormal intensity in proportion as the affections are
neglected, and the soil of the heart left untilled.
“Mine have been worse than ignored,” said he, with an elevated tone, and
in a voice that rang through the court,--“they have been outraged; and
when the time comes that biography will have to deal with my character
and my fortunes, if there be but justice in the award, the summing-up
will speak of me as one ever linked with a destiny that was beneath
him. He was a lawyer,--he ought to have been a legislator. He sat on
the Bench, while his place was the Cabinet; and when at the end of
a laborious life his brethren rallied round him with homage and with
tender regard, they found him like a long beleaguered city starved
into submission, carrying a bold port towards the enemy, but torn by
dissension within, and betrayed by the very garrison that should have
died in its defence.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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