In his self-exaltation he began to investigate whether he was greater as
an advocate or as prosecutor. How difficult to decide! After all, it
was in the balance of the powers thus displayed that he was great as a
judge. He recalled the opinions of the press when he was raised to the
bench, and triumphantly asked aloud, had he not justified every hope and
contradicted every fear that was entertained of him? “Has my learning
made me intolerant, or my brilliancy led me into impatience? Has the
sense of superiority that I possess rendered me less conciliatory? Has
my 'impetuous genius'--how fond they were of that phrase!--carried me
away into boundless indiscretions? and have I, as one critic said, so
concentrated the attention of the jury on myself that the evidence went
for nothing and the charge was everything?”
It was strange how these bursts of inordinate vanity and self-esteem
appeared to rally and invigorate the old man, redressing, as it were,
the balance of the world's injustice--such he felt it--towards him. They
were like a miser's hoard, to be counted and re-counted in secret with
that abiding assurance that he had wealth and riches, however others
might deem him poor.
It was out of these promptings of self-love that he drew the energetic
powers that sustained him, broken and failing and old as he was.
Carried on by his excited thoughts, he strayed away to a little mound,
on which, under a large weeping-ash, a small bench was placed, from
which a wide view extended over the surrounding country. There was a
tradition of a summer-house on the spot in Curran's day, and it was
referred to more than once in the diaries and letters of his friends;
and the old Chief loved the place, as sacred to great memories.
He had just toiled up the ascent, and gained the top, when a servant
came to present him with a card and a letter, saying that the gentleman
who gave them was then at the house. The card bore the name, “Captain
Trafford,--th Regiment.” The letter was of a few lines, and ran thus:--
“My dear Sir William,--I had promised my friend and late patient Captain
Trafford to take him over to the Priory this morning and present him to
you. A sudden call has, however, frustrated the arrangement; and as
his time is very brief, I have given him this as a credential to your
acquaintance, and I hope you will permit him to stroll through the
garden and the shrubberies, which he will accept as a great favor.
I especially beg that you will lay no burden on your own strength to
become his entertainer: he will be amply gratified by a sight of
your belongings, of which he desires to carry the memory beyond
seas.--Believe me very sincerely yours,
“J. Beattie.”
“If the gentleman who brought this will do me the favor to come up here,
say I shall be happy to see him.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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