MRS. GARDNER. And serve you right, William, for sending the man when you should have gone yourself. WILLIAM. John has a tongue that is better used to this sort of business than mine. MRS. GARDNER. Nonsense, when was one of our family ever known to fail in the tongue? WILLIAM. If she that was asked first had only been the right one, all would have been over and done with now. MRS. GARDNER. ’Tis John that you have got to thank for the blunder. WILLIAM. [_Sighing_.] That was a rare fine maid, and no mistake. MRS. GARDNER. And a rare brazen hussy, from all that has reached my ears. WILLIAM. Well—I’ve done with courting—now and for all time, that I have. And you may roast me alive if I’ll ever go nigh to a maid again. MRS. GARDNER. That you shall, William—and quickly too. There’s no time like the present, and your Sunday clothes are upon you still. WILLIAM. I was just going up to change, Mother. MRS. GARDNER. Then you’ll please to remain as you are. You may take what gift you like along with you this time, so long as it’s none of my home-cured meat. WILLIAM. I’m blessed if I do stir out again this day. Why, look at the seedlings crying for water, and the nets to lay over the fruit and sommat of everything wanting to be done all around of me. I’ll not stir. [JOHN _comes towards them_. MRS. GARDNER. Here’s John. Suppose he were to make himself useful in the garden for once instead of meddling in things that are none of his business. JOHN. I’ll be blowed if ’tis any more courting as I’ll do, neither for Master William nor on my own account. WILLIAM. Why, John, ’twasn’t your fault that the lady wouldn’t take me, you did your best with her, I know. JOHN. An that I did, Master William, but a more contrary coxsy sort of a maid I never did see. “I baint one as fancies pig meat,” her did say. And the nose of she did curl away up till it could go no higher. That’s not the wench for me, I says to myself. MRS. GARDNER. Is the jowl hung up in its right place again, John? JOHN. That ’tis, mistress. I put it back myself, and a good job for that ’taint went out of the family and off to the mouths of strangers, so says I. MRS. GARDNER. Do you tend to Master William’s garden John, instead of talking. We’ve had enough of your tongue for one day. JOHN. Why, be Master William goin’ out for to court again, this afternoon? WILLIAM. No, John—No, I’ve had enough of that for my life time. JOHN. So have I, master, and more nor enough. I don’t care particular if I never set eyes on a maid again. WILLIAM. [_Pointing to a plot of ground_.] That’s where I pulled the young carrots this morning. JOHN. Ah, and so you did, master. WILLIAM. And there’s from where I took the Early Snowballs. JOHN. And a great pity as you did. There be none too many of that sort here. WILLIAM. She had a wonderful soft look in her eyes as she did handle them and the spring cabbage, John.