"That would fetch a bashing, Pat." "Troth, and I've had a bashing once afore, and what I've had once I can do with agin." "Did you holloa when you were bashed?" "Holloa! by the piper, I sang out-- 'The seeds of repentance, how can they take root, When I'm ruled by a tyrant and flogged like a brute; The plant of revenge is more likely to sprout When such monsters of jailers go strutting about.' "And I called them all the horrid names I could think on, and they were wild when they saw I was game." "Where were you bashed?" "At Bermuda; and by the piper, they once flogged men before the altar there, and then called the prisoners into chapel and preached to them about forgiving one another, and showing mercy to one another, the ---- hypocrites." "What are you here for this time?" "Oh, nothing at all. I am like the bloke in the song-- 'One day as I passed I looked into the kitchen, Where I saw a pot boiling, but not for poor Pat; For love and for thieving I'd always an itchin', So I took out the mutton and put in the cat.'" "I understand there was a great many unnatural crimes committed at Bermuda?" "Oh! shocking. The young lads would go about with their pockets full of money, and their hair decked up like girls. It was disgusting, 'pon my word; and do you know what the authorities called it when cases were brought before them?" "No." "Why, 'malicious gambling.' That was to deceive the public, you know. There was plenty of 'snout' knocking about in all the prisons in those days, and a fellow hadn't to go a day without a taste as he has to do now sometimes. We used to have lots of rum at Bermuda, as well as 'snout,' and first-rate liquor, too. By the piper! I wish I had a drop now." "How much could you do with?" "A wee drop in a bucket, about two hoops up. The last time I'd a drop o' rum in me, do you know what I did? I had on a very shabby coat, all torn at the elbows, and only one tail to it, so I spied a country bloke with his girl, dressed out in new toggery. I says to my pal, 'I say, O'Shockady, there's a new coat on that bloke's back that I must have on mine; he is just about my size. You go up and be messing about with his girl, and you'll see he will guard and offer to fight. You take off your coat and put up your 'props' to him, and get him to strip also. Well, I'll come up and see fair play, and while you're at the fists I'll leave my tog and take his, d'ye twig?' Well, up O'Shockady went, and, my crikey! if you had seen how the bloke fired up when his girl was insulted! why, his coat was off in a jiffey, and it was soon farther off than he could catch, I can tell you. After I got round the corner O'Shockady gave in to the bloke and bolted, leaving him in his shirt-sleeves to escort the girl."