Sixteen years in Siberia: Some experiences of a Russian revolutionistDeich, L. G. (Lev Grigor'evich)
History
Sixteen years in Siberia: Some experiences of a Russian revolutionist
Deich, L. G. (Lev Grigor'evich)
Deich, L. G. (Lev Grigor'evich), 1855-1941; Exiles -- Russia (Federation) -- Siberia -- Biography
Our life was one of dismal uniformity. Day after day, month after month,
went past and left no trace in remembrance. One day was exactly like
another, and all alike seemed endless. Whole years elapsed, and from
each three hundred and sixty-five days there could not be singled out
one on which any event had occurred worthy of recollection. In vain one
racks one’s brain trying to arouse a memory of that monotonous past.
When we arose in the morning we knew exactly what the day would bring;
indeed, one knew beforehand what the next day and the next week and
month would contain. One knew the manners, customs, inclinations of
every comrade in misfortune, could tell what each would be likely to say
or do on any given occasion, and sometimes one would long to run away
and hide, and never see their faces again. But there is no running away;
every minute of the year you are obliged to endure the company of those
others, and to burden them with your own; there is not a moment in which
you can be alone, not a corner in the common room to which you can
withdraw for real privacy.
To all this is added the rigour of the prison routine: the roll-call
morning and evening, the periodical inspections, the shaving of heads
that takes place with painful regularity, the constant presence of the
gendarmes. The strain at times becomes insupportable, and the nerves are
so shattered that the creaking of the great lock in the frequent opening
and shutting of the door affects one almost to madness. Many of us
became irritable to an extent incomprehensible to a normally sound
person, and with some of us (though not with many) this would at times
lead to loss of temper and quarrelling over the veriest nothings. It
thus once happened that two friends, both intelligent and well-educated
men of mature years, fell out with one another literally about an
egg-shell, which occasioned a dispute that led to a break between them.
This can only be conceivable if one realises that even people who love
each other tenderly might find it difficult to endure such close and
uninterrupted intercourse. What, then, must have been our situation,
locked up together, forced to inflict unwillingly on each other a
companionship which there was no alternative but to accept?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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