Sketches by Boz, Illustrative of Every-Day Life and Every-Day PeopleDickens, Charles
General
Sketches by Boz, Illustrative of Every-Day Life and Every-Day People
Dickens, Charles
London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘Well!’ said little Mrs. Tibbs to herself, as she sat in the front
parlour of the Coram-street mansion one morning, mending a piece of
stair-carpet off the first Landings;—‘Things have not turned out so
badly, either, and if I only get a favourable answer to the
advertisement, we shall be full again.’
Mrs. Tibbs resumed her occupation of making worsted lattice-work in the
carpet, anxiously listening to the twopenny postman, who was hammering
his way down the street, at the rate of a penny a knock. The house was
as quiet as possible. There was only one low sound to be heard—it was
the unhappy Tibbs cleaning the gentlemen’s boots in the back kitchen,
and accompanying himself with a buzzing noise, in wretched mockery of
humming a tune.
The postman drew near the house. He paused—so did Mrs. Tibbs. A knock—a
bustle—a letter—post-paid.
‘T. I. presents compt. to I. T. and T. I. begs To say that i see the
advertisement And she will Do Herself the pleasure of calling On you at
12 o’clock to-morrow morning.
‘T. I. as To apologise to I. T. for the shortness Of the notice But i
hope it will not unconvenience you.
‘I remain yours Truly
‘Wednesday evening.’
Little Mrs. Tibbs perused the document, over and over again; and the
more she read it, the more was she confused by the mixture of the first
and third person; the substitution of the ‘i’ for the ‘T. I.;’ and the
transition from the ‘I. T.’ to the ‘You.’ The writing looked like a
skein of thread in a tangle, and the note was ingeniously folded into a
perfect square, with the direction squeezed up into the right-hand
corner, as if it were ashamed of itself. The back of the epistle was
pleasingly ornamented with a large red wafer, which, with the addition
of divers ink-stains, bore a marvellous resemblance to a black beetle
trodden upon. One thing, however, was perfectly clear to the perplexed
Mrs. Tibbs. Somebody was to call at twelve. The drawing-room was
forthwith dusted for the third time that morning; three or four chairs
were pulled out of their places, and a corresponding number of books
carefully upset, in order that there might be a due absence of
formality. Down went the piece of stair-carpet before noticed, and up
ran Mrs. Tibbs ‘to make herself tidy.’
The clock of New Saint Pancras Church struck twelve, and the Foundling,
with laudable politeness, did the same ten minutes afterwards, Saint
something else struck the quarter, and then there arrived a single lady
with a double knock, in a pelisse the colour of the interior of a
damson pie; a bonnet of the same, with a regular conservatory of
artificial flowers; a white veil, and a green parasol, with a cobweb
border.
The visitor (who was very fat and red-faced) was shown into the
drawing-room; Mrs. Tibbs presented herself, and the negotiation
commenced.
‘I called in consequence of an advertisement,’ said the stranger, in a
voice as if she had been playing a set of Pan’s pipes for a fortnight
without leaving off.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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