Sketches in Lavender, Blue and GreenJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
"He remained at the office until late, and then went home. For dinner,
usually the chief meal of the day, he could manage to eat only a biscuit
and some fruit. He attributed his loss of appetite to want of his
customary ride. He was strangely unsettled all the evening. He said he
supposed he missed his game of whist, and determined to look about him
without loss of time for some quiet, respectable club. At eleven he
retired with his wife to bed, but could not sleep. He tossed and turned,
and turned and tossed, but grew only more and more wakeful and energetic.
A little after midnight an overpowering desire seized him to go and wish
the children good-night. He slipped on a dressing-gown and stole into
the nursery. He did not intend it, but the opening of the door awoke
them, and he was glad. He wrapped them up in the quilt, and, sitting on
the edge of the bed, told them moral stories till one o'clock.
"Then he kissed them, bidding them be good and go to sleep; and finding
himself painfully hungry, crept downstairs, where in the back kitchen he
made a hearty meal off cold game pie and cucumber.
"He retired to bed feeling more peaceful, yet still could not sleep, so
lay thinking about his business affairs till five, when he dropped off.
"At one o'clock to the minute he awoke. His wife told him she had made
every endeavour to rouse him, but in vain. The man was vexed and
irritated. If he had not been a very good man indeed, I believe he would
have sworn. The same programme was repeated as on the Thursday, and
again he reached the City at three.
"This state of things went on for a month. The man fought against
himself, but was unable to alter himself. Every morning, or rather every
afternoon at one he awoke. Every night at one he crept down into the
kitchen and foraged for food. Every morning at five he fell asleep.
"He could not understand it, nobody could understand it. The doctor
treated him for water on the brain, hypnotic irresponsibility and
hereditary lunacy. Meanwhile his business suffered, and his health grew
worse. He seemed to be living upside down. His days seemed to have
neither beginning nor end, but to be all middle. There was no time for
exercise or recreation. When he began to feel cheerful and sociable
everybody else was asleep.
"One day by chance the explanation came. His eldest daughter was
preparing her home studies after dinner.
"'What time is it now in New York?' she asked, looking up from her
geography book.
"'New York,' said her father, glancing at his watch, 'let me see. It's
just ten now, and there's a little over four and a half hours'
difference. Oh, about half-past five in the afternoon.'
"'Then in Jefferson,' said the mother, 'it would be still earlier,
wouldn't it?'
"'Yes,' replied the girl, examining the map, 'Jefferson is nearly two
degrees further west.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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