She seated herself at the piano, looking back across her shoulder
and playing while she spoke, as though her hands were a separate
personality.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you. There was a garden enclosed--the gates all
locked, and Love gazed in at it! But there came a time when Love grew
tired. While he had waited, the garden had taken no notice. But when he
had gone, all the lilies, and sunflowers, and roses rushed to the gates
and clamored to follow him. But the locks had grown rusty. The garden
which had enclosed itself against Love, found itself shut out from Love.
Tra-la-la! Yea, verily.”
Her hands lay idle in her lap for a moment. “You mustn’t mind me. It’s
a luxury to indulge in self-pity. I shall be so gay to-morrow you
won’t know me. But just at present I’m wishing,” she mocked her own
melancholy, slanting her eyes at him, “rather wishing I were Mrs. Hal
Sheerug--wishing I were any good domestic woman instead of Vashti, the
singer. And if I were Mrs. Hal, I’d be as much of a curiosity as Eden
Row set down on Broadway.”
Again she took up her playing. “And yet--and yet life would be tedious
without love. We’re so afraid that love will never come to us, aren’t
we, Teddy? Afraid that our latest chance will be our last. You see, I’m
like that, too; I know all about it. You’re asleep. Perhaps we’re both
asleep--both dreaming of something more splendid than reality. Don’t
let’s wake up--we’ll be unhappy. Let’s go on dreaming together.”
She ceased speaking, but her hands wandered from melody to melody. She
played very softly. From far below in the darkness the hum of speeding
cars was like the drowsy trumpeting of gnats in an English garden.
Through half-closed eyes he watched her, trying to make himself believe
she was Desire.
Why had she so deliberately filled his mind with doubts? And Desire--why
had she gone away without mentioning him on the very day that he had
landed? Was it carelessness, or a young girl’s way of impressing him
with her value? “She feels far more than she’ll ever express.” It might
be that--a paradoxical way of showing affection.
Vashti gazed towards him and nodded, as much as to say, “I know what
thoughts are passing.” She struck three chords.
What happened next was like arms spread under him, carrying him away and
away from every trouble. “Oh, rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him.”
Her voice sprang up like a strong white bird; at every beat of its
wings the accompaniment fluttered like the weak wings of small birds
following. “Oh; rest in the Lord”--the white bird rose higher with a
braver confidence and the little birds took courage, plunging deeper
into the grave and gentle stillness. “Oh, rest in the Lord”--it was like
a sigh of contentment traveling back from prepared places. The room grew
silent.
She was kneeling beside him--kneeling the way his mother would have
knelt, with her arms about him and her face almost touching.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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