One day he made a discovery. He had gone to the apartment to call for
her earlier than he was expected. She was out Lying on the table under
some needle-work was a book which he recognized. He picked it up; it was
the copy of Life Till Twenty-One which he had bought for her after the
ride from Glastonbury, the receipt of which she had never acknowledged.
He had invented all manner of reasons for her silence: that she was
annoyed with him for having written about her; that she didn’t take him
seriously as an artist. On opening it he found that not only had it been
read, but carefully annotated throughout. The passages which referred
most explicitly to herself were underscored. Against his more visionary
flights she had set query marks. They winked at him humorously up and
down the margins. They were like her voice, counseling with laughing
petulance, “Now, do be sensible.”
She came in with her arms full of parcels. He held the book up
triumphantly. “I’m awfully-proud. You are a queer kiddy. Why didn’t you
tell me? I thought you didn’t care.”
Her parcels scattered. She grabbed the book from him. “That’s cheating.”
She flushed scarlet. “Of course I care. What girl wouldn’t? But if I feel
a thing deeply I don’t gush. I’m like that.”
“But you talk about Fluffy’s work; you’re always diving through crowds
to see if her picture isn’t on news-stands. You tell me what your
friend, Tom, is doing and--and heaps of people.”
“They’re different.”
“How?”
“If you don’t know, I can’t tel! you.”
“But I’m so proud of you, Princess. I do wish that sometimes,” he tried
to take her hand--she fortressed herself behind a chair, “that sometimes
you’d show that you were a little proud of me.”
“Oh, you!” She bit her finger the way she did when she suspected that he
was going to try to kiss her mouth. Her eyes danced and mocked him above
her hand. “Fancy poor little you wanting some one to be proud of you.
Meester Deek, that does sound soft.”
“Does it?” His voice trembled. “I don’t mind how foolish I am before
you. But I do wish sometimes that you’d treat me as though I wasn’t
different. You’ve only called me twice by my name. You won’t dance
with me, though I learnt especially for you. You won’t do all kinds of
ordinary things that you’re willing to do with people who don’t count.”
All the while that he had been speaking she had smiled at him, her
finger still childishly in her mouth. When he had ended, she came from
behind her chair and threw herself on the couch. “I have piped unto you
and ye have not danced. Is that it, Meester Deek? So now you’re weeping
to see if I won’t mourn. I’m afraid I’m not the mourning sort; life’s
too happy.--But I’m not nice to you. Come and sit down. I’m afraid I’m
least gracious to the people I like best. Ask mother; she’ll tell you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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