Was she incapable of passion--she who could rouse it to the
danger-mark in others? He suspected that he was too gentle with her; but
forcefulness brought memories of Mr. Dak. Though she made herself the
dearest of companions, he knew that her feeling was no more than intense
liking. He had failed to stir her.
Sometimes he thought that out of cowardice she was wilfully preventing
herself from loving; sometimes that she was diverting the main stream
of her affection in a wrong direction. She could still court separation
from him without regret Fluffy had only to raise her finger and all
his plans were scattered. Fluffy raised her finger very often now that
Horace had left.
He despised himself for feeling jealous of a woman; but he was jealous.
Fluffy knew that she was his rival. When they were all three together,
she would amuse herself with half-sincere attempts to help him in his
battle: “He looks at you so nicely. Why don’t you marry him?” But she
robbed him remorselessly of Desire whenever it pleased her fancy. “Oh,
these men!” she would sigh, shrugging her pretty shoulders. “Don’t you
know, little Desire, that it does them good to keep them guessing?”
While the days slipped by unnumbered, he tried to persuade himself that
Desire’s difficulty of winning made her the more worthy of his worship.
He often thought of his father’s picture, buried beneath dusty canvasses
in the stable at Eden Row. It was like that. He had stumbled into a
Garden Enclosed, basking in lethargy, where Love peered in through
the locked gate, and all things waited and slumbered. Then came the
awakening, shattering in its earnestness.
It was three days before Christmas. The weather had turned to a
sparkling coldness. Tall buildings looked like Niagaras of stone, poured
from the glistening blueness of the heavens. In Madison Square and
Columbus Circle Christmas trees had been set up. New York had a festive
atmosphere--almost an atmosphere of childhood. Schools had broken up;
streets were animated with laughing faces. Mistletoe and holly were in
evidence. At frequent corners a Santa Claus was standing, white-bearded
and red-coated, clattering his bell. Broadway and Fifth Avenue were
thronged with matinée-girls and their escorts. They sprang up like
flowers, tripping along gayly, snuggling their cheeks against their
furs. Stores were Aladdin’s Caves, where money could make dreams come
true. The spendthrift good-nature of the crowds was infectious.
All afternoon he had been shopping with her. “Our first Christmas
together,” he kept saying. He invented plan after plan for making the
season memorable. “When we’re old married people,” he told her, “we’ll
look back. It’ll be something to talk about.”
“Only you mustn’t talk about it before your wife,” she warned him slyly.
“Why not?”
“She won’t like it, naturally. A Joan likes to think she was her Darby’s
first and only.”
He drew her arm closer into his, and peeped beneath the brim of her hat,
“Well, and wasn’t she?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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