“Would he? And after I’d taken you from him?” She screwed up her mouth
in denial and crushed out the stub of her cigarette against her heel.
It seemed the symbol of things ended. “You were telling me about the
letter. What else?”
“That’s all. But you see, I’ve got nothing now except what I earn. And
when my mind’s distracted---- It’s---- You don’t mind my saying it, do
you? It’s waiting for you that’s done it. My power seems gone. If only
I were sure of you and that you’d be to me always as you are now, I’d be
strong to do anything.”
She had been fidgeting with her bracelet. When he had ended, she
commenced to slip it off. “And it was the day that you lost everything
that you were most generous. And I didn’t thank you properly, like the
little pig I am. Teddy, please don’t be offended, but I’d so much rather
you----”
He pressed his lips against the slim wrist that she held out. “Please
don’t. It would hurt me most awfully.”
“And it makes me feel guilty to keep it,” she pouted.
They sat holding hands, gazing at each other. In the silence, without
the fever of caresses, he had come nearer to her than at any previous
moment. They were two children who had experimented with things they did
not understand, and were a little frightened at what had happened and a
little glad.
“You called me Teddy just now,” he whispered. “It’s the third time.”
She smiled at him with a flicker of her old wickedness. “I didn’t intend
to. It slipped out because--because I was so unhappy.”
“But you needn’t be unhappy. Neither of us need be unhappy. Everything’s
in our own hands. I’d work for you, Desire. I’d become famous for you.
We’d live life splendidly. The way we’ve been living is stupid and
wasteful; it doesn’t lead anywhere. If you’d marry me and come back with
me----”
“To-morrow?” she questioned. “Meester Deek, you didn’t go and book two
berths? You weren’t as foolish as that?”
He sought her lips. She turned her face ever so slightly, as though
apologizing for a necessary unkindness! His look of disappointment
brought tears to her eyes. She stroked his cheek gently in atonement.
“You weren’t as foolish as that?”
He hung his head. “No, I wasn’t: I wish I had been, and I would be if
you----”
She stared beyond him, watching pictures form and dissolve before her
inward eyes.
“We could sail to-morrow,” he urged her; “or wait till after Christmas.
I’d wait for you for years if you’d only say that some day---- Can’t we
at least be engaged?”
“Don’t wait,” she whispered.
“But I shall wait always--always. I shall never love any one but you.”
“They all say that.”
A key grated in the latch. She didn’t snatch away her hand the way she
would have done formerly. She sat motionless, courting discovery.
They heard Vashti’s voice, bidding some man good-night. The door shut.
Glancing in on them in passing, she pretended to be unaware of what was
happening. “I’m going straight to bed. You don’t mind if I don’t stay to
talk with you? I’m tired.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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