‘My invention! If I had imagined it, it should not have made you angry;
and as for my right, well I never heard before that a man ought to ask
himself whether he had the right to hold out a hand to a drowning man.’
‘I am humbly grateful for your tender solicitude,’ cried Litvinov
passionately, ‘but I am not in the least in need of it, and all the
phrases about the ruin of inexperienced young men wrought by society
women, about the immorality of fashionable society, and so on, I look
upon merely as stock phrases, and indeed in a sense I positively despise
them; and so I beg you to spare your rescuing arm, and to let me drown
in peace.’
Potugin again raised his eyes to Litvinov. He was breathing hard, his
lips were twitching.
‘But look at me, young man,’ broke from him at last, and he clapped
himself on the breast: ‘can you suppose I have anything in common with
the ordinary, self-satisfied moralist, a preacher? Don’t you understand
that simply from interest in you, however strong it might be, I would
never have let fall a word, I would never have given you grounds for
reproaching me with what I hate above all things--indiscretion,
intrusiveness? Don’t you see that this is something of a different kind
altogether, that before you is a man crushed, utterly obliterated by the
very passion, from the results of which he would save you, and ... and
for the same woman!’
Litvinov stepped back a pace.
‘Is it possible? What did you say?... You ... you ... Sozont Ivanitch?
But Madame Byelsky ... that child?’
‘Ah, don’t cross-examine me.... Believe me! That is a dark terrible
story, and I’m not going to tell you it. Madame Byelsky I hardly knew,
that child is not mine, but I took it all upon myself ... because ...
_she_ wished it, because it was necessary for _her_. Why am I here in
your hateful Baden? And, in fact, could you suppose, could you for one
instant imagine, that I’d have brought myself to caution you out of
sympathy for you? I’m sorry for that sweet, good girl, your _fiancée_,
but what have I to do with your future, with you both?... But I am
afraid for her ... for her.’
‘You do me great honour, Mr. Potugin,’ began Litvinov, ‘but since,
according to you, we are both in the same position, why is it you don’t
apply such exhortations to yourself, and ought I not to ascribe your
apprehensions to another feeling?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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