‘There, forgive me ... forgive me. What did you say?’
‘I told her that I no longer loved her.’
‘She asked why?’
‘I did not disguise the fact that I loved another woman, and that we
must part.’
‘Ah ... and what did she do? Agreed?’
‘O Irina! what a girl she is! She was all self-sacrifice, all
generosity!’
‘I’ve no doubt, I’ve no doubt ... there was nothing else for her to do,
though.’
‘And not one reproach, not one hard word to me, who have spoiled her
whole life, deceived her, pitilessly flung her over....’
Irina scrutinised her finger nails.
‘Tell me, Grigory ... did she love you?’
‘Yes, Irina, she loved me.’
Irina was silent a minute, she straightened her dress.
‘I must confess,’ she began, ‘I don’t quite understand what induced you
to explain matters to her.’
‘What induced me, Irina! Would you have liked me to lie, to be a
hypocrite to her, that pure soul? or did you suppose----’
‘I supposed nothing,’ Irina interrupted. ‘I must admit I have thought
very little about her. I don’t know how to think of two people at once.’
‘That is, you mean----’
‘Well, and so what then? Is she going away, that pure soul?’ Irina
interrupted a second time.
‘I know nothing,’ answered Litvinov. ‘I am to see her again. But she
will not stay.’
‘Ah! _bon voyage!_’
‘No, she will not stay. But I’m not thinking of her either now, I am
thinking of what you said to me, what you have promised me.’
Irina looked up at him from under her eyelids.
‘Ungrateful one! aren’t you content yet?’
‘No, Irina, I’m not content. You have made me happy, but I’m not
content, and you understand me.’
‘That is, I----’
‘Yes, you understand me. Remember your words, remember what you wrote to
me. I can’t share you with others; no, no, I can’t consent to the
pitiful rôle of secret lover; not my life alone, this other life too I
have flung at your feet, I have renounced everything, I have crushed it
all to dust, without compunction and beyond recall; but in return I
trust, I firmly believe, that you too will keep your promise, and unite
your lot with mine for ever.’
‘You want me to run away with you? I am ready....’ (Litvinov bent down
to her hands in ecstasy.) ‘I am ready. I will not go back from my word.
But have you yourself thought over all the difficulties--have you made
preparations?’
‘I? I have not had time yet to think over or prepare anything, but only
say yes, let me act, and before a month is over....’
‘A month! we start for Italy in a fortnight.’
‘A fortnight, then, is enough for me. O Irina, you seem to take my
proposition coldly; perhaps it seems unpractical to you, but I am not a
boy, I am not used to comforting myself with dreams, I know what a
tremendous step this is, I know what a responsibility I am taking on
myself; but I can see no other course. Think of it, I must break every
tie with the past, if only not to be a contemptible liar in the eyes of
the girl I have sacrificed for you!’
Irina drew herself up suddenly and her eyes flashed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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