Everything was silent in the room; a butterfly that had flown in was
fluttering its wings and struggling between the curtain and the window.
The first to speak was Litvinov.
‘That, Irina Pavlovna,’ he began, ‘that is the misfortune, which ... has
befallen me, which I ought to have foreseen and avoided, if I had not
now just as in the Moscow days been carried off my feet at once. It
seems fate is pleased to force me once again through you to suffer
tortures, which one would have thought should not be repeated again....
It was not without cause I struggled.... I tried to struggle; but of
course there’s no escaping one’s fate. And I tell you all this to put an
end at once to this ... this tragic farce,’ he added with a fresh
outburst of shame and bitterness.
Litvinov was silent again; the butterfly was struggling and fluttering
as before. Irina did not take her hands from her face.
‘And you are not mistaken?’ her whisper sounded from under those white,
bloodless-looking hands.
‘I am not mistaken,’ answered Litvinov in a colourless voice. ‘I love
you, as I have never loved any one but you. I am not going to reproach
you; that would be too foolish; I’m not going to tell you that perhaps
nothing of all this would have happened if you yourself had behaved
differently with me.... Of course, I alone am to blame, my
self-confidence has been my ruin; I am deservedly punished, and you
could not have anticipated it. Of course you did not consider that it
would have been far less dangerous for me if you had not been so keenly
alive to your wrong ... your supposed wrong to me; and had not wished to
make up for it ... but what’s done can’t be undone. I only wanted to
make clear my position to you; it’s hard enough as it is.... But at
least there will be, as you say, no misunderstanding, while the openness
of my confession will soften, I hope, the feeling of offence which you
cannot but feel.’
Litvinov spoke without raising his eyes, but even if he had glanced at
Irina, he could not have seen what was passing in her face, as she still
as before kept her hands over her eyes. But what was passing over her
face meanwhile would probably have astounded him; both alarm and delight
were apparent on it, and a kind of blissful helplessness and agitation;
her eyes hardly glimmered under their overhanging lids, and her slow,
broken breathing was chill upon her lips, that were parted as though
with thirst....
Litvinov was silent, waiting for a response, some sound.... Nothing!
‘There is one thing left for me,’ he began again, ‘to go away; I have
come to say good-bye to you.’
Irina slowly dropped her hands on to her knees.
‘But I remember, Grigory Mihalitch,’ she began; ‘that ... that person of
whom you spoke to me, she was to have come here? You are expecting her?’
‘Yes; but I shall write to her ... she will stop somewhere on the way
... at Heidelberg, for instance.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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