'In the next place, their method in deceiving people who come to enquire after _Stolen Goods_, is such a bare fac'd ridiculous piece of Banter, that I wonder any Creature that bears Humane Shape, can be so stupidly Ignorant, as not to plainly discern the Impositions that are put upon them by their _canting Albumazer_; Who, in the first place, enquires about what time, and in what manner the things were lost; and what strangers they had in the House? From whence he reasonably infers, whether the Spoon, Cup, Tankard, or whatsoever it be, was taken away by the Common Thief, or stolen by a Servant, or Person that uses the House, or whether Conceal'd by the Master or Mistress on purpose to make the Servants more diligent. If his Conjecture be, that it was taken by a Common Thief, he describes a Swarthy Black Ill looking Fellow, with a down look, or the like; most wisely considering That such sort of Rogues are seldom without a Gallows in their Countenances: Telling withall, That the Goods are Pawn'd, and will scarcely be recoverable, without they take the Thief speedily, in order to effect which, he will give them his best Directions; which the credulous _Ignoramus_ desires in Writing, for fear he should forget; which the Sower look'd Conjurer gives him accordingly, after the following manner:--_Go a quarter of a Mile from your own Dwelling, and then turn_ Easterly, _and walk forward till you come to the Sign of a large Four Footed Beast, and Search within three or four Doors of that Sign, and you will go near to take him, if you go soon enough, or hear of him, who is of a middle Stature and in poor Habit._ Away goes the Fool, as well satisfied with the Note, as if he had the Rogue by the Elbow, and if by any Accident they do hear of the Thief, all is ascrib'd to the wonderful Cunning of their _Wissard_: But if on the contrary, he believes it to be taken by a Servant, or any Body that uses the House, he bids 'em, hab nab at a venture, _Go home satisfied, for they shall certainly find the Spoon, &c. in three or four days' time, hid in a private Hole, in such a part of the Kitchen, or he'll make the Devil to do with those that have it; and force them to bring it in open shame and disgrace at Dinner time, and lay it down upon the Table in the Sight of the whole Family_. Away goes the Person well satisfied with what their _Ptolomist_ had told 'em: and declares to every one in the House how the Thief was Threaten'd, and after what manner the Spoon should be found within the time appointed, or else woe be to them that have it. This Frightful Story coming to the Ears of the Guilty, brings 'em under such dreadful Apprehensions of the Conjuror's Indignation, if they do not lay what they've taken within the time, according to the Direction; that the first opportunity they have, they will place it to the utmost exactness in whatever Hole or Corner he has appointed for the finding of it.'