The 'London Spy' would be incomplete without an account of a scene so congenial as May Fair, so of course he visited it; but it does not appear to have vied in any degree with Bartholomew Fair. 'We ordered the Coach to drive thro' the Body of the Fair that we might have the better View of the Tinsey Heroes and the gazing Multitude; expecting to have seen several Corporations of Strolling Vagabonds, but there prov'd but one Company, amongst whom Merry _Andrew_ was very busie in coaxing the attentive Crowd into a good Opinion of his Fraternitie's and his own Performances; and when with abundance of Labour, Sweat, and Nonsense he had drawn a great cluster of the Mob on his Parade, and was just beginning to encourage them to _Walk in and take their Places_; his unlucky opposite, whose boarded Theatre entertain'd the Publick with the wonderful activity of some little _Indian_ Rope Dancers, brings out a couple of Chattering _Homunculusses_, drest up in _Scaramouch_ Habit; and every thing that Merry _Andrew_ and his Second did on the one side, was mimick'd by the little Flat nos'd Comedians on the other, till the two Diminutive Buffoons, by their Comical Gestures had so prevail'd upon the gaping Throng, that tho' Merry _Andrew_ had taken pains, with all the wit he had to collect the Stragling Rabble into their proper order, yet like an unmannerly Audience, they turn'd their Backs upon the _Players_, and devoted themselves wholly to the Monkeys, to the great vexation of _Tom Fool_ and all the Strutting train of imaginary Lords and Ladies. At last comes an Epitome of a Careful Nurse, drest up in a Country Jacket, and under her Arm a Kitten for a Nurslin, and in her contrary hand a piece of Cheese; down sits the little Matron with a very Motherly Countenance, and when her Youngster _Mew'd_, she Dandled him, and Rock'd him in her Arms, with as great signs of Affection as a loving Mother could well shew to a disorder'd Infant; then bites a piece of the Cheese, and after she had mumbled it about in her own Mouth, then thrust it with her Tongue into the Kitten's. Just as I have seen some Nasty Old Sluts feed their Grandchildren.' The other shows in the fair seem to have been very poor: two or three dancing booths, a puppet show, 'a Turkey Ram, with as much Wooll upon his Tail as would load a Wheelbarrow,' and a couple of tigers, were all Ward could find worth recording.