The properties of a theatre have always been a fair whetstone for men to sharpen their humour on, and the writers of the time of Queen Anne were not behindhand in this respect. When Drury Lane was closed by order, in 1709, the _Tatler_ (No. 42) made very merry over the miscellaneous effects:-- 'Three Bottles and a half of lightning. 'One Shower of Snow in the whitest French Paper. 'Two Showers of a browner sort. 'A Sea, consisting of a dozen large waves; the tenth bigger than ordinary, and a little damaged. 'A dozen and a half of Clouds, trimmed with black, and well conditioned. 'A Mustard bowl to make Thunder with. 'The Complexion of a Murderer in a Bandbox; consisting of a large piece of burnt Cork, and a Coal black Peruke,' etc. At the death of Peer, the property man at this theatre, the _Guardian_ extracted much fun from a catalogue of articles under his care. Rowe goes into poetry on the same subject--thus:-- Hung on the selfsame Peg, in Union rest Young _Tarquin's_ Trowsers, and _Lucretia's_ Vest, Whilst without pulling Quoives _Roxana_ lays Close by _Statira's_ Petticoat her Stays ........................................ Near these sets up a Dragon drawn Calash, There a Ghost's Doublet delicately slash'd, Bleeds from the mangled Breast, and gapes a frightful Gash. In Crimson wrought the sanguine Floods abound, And seem to gutter from the streaming Wound. Here Iris bends her various painted Arch, There artificial Clouds in sullen Order march, Here stands a Crown upon a Rack, and there A _Witch's_ Broomstick by great _Hector's_ Spear; Here stands a Throne, and there the _Cynick's_ Tub, Here _Bullock's_ Cudgel, there Alcida's Club: Beads, Plumes, and Spangles, in Confusion rise, Whilst Rocks of Cornish Diamonds reach the Skies. Crests, Corslets, all the Pomp of Battle join, In one Effulgence, one promiscuous shine. The actors of this reign, with a few exceptions, were not people of much genius. After these few, some were respectable, the rest bad; but, although the play was the proper place of amusement to go to, and there were seldom more than two theatres open at once, yet we find it comparatively languishing, the companies frequently playing only twice a week, or the theatre closed altogether. Doubtless the tragedy was stilted, and the comedy was akin to buffoonery. As witness to the latter let Addison[443] testify: 'It would be an Endless Task to consider Comedy in the same Light, and to mention the innumerable Shifts that small Wits put in practice to raise a Laugh. _Bullock_ in a short Coat, and _Norris_ in a long one, seldom fail of this Effect. In ordinary Comedies, a broad and a narrow Brim'd Hat are different characters. Sometimes the Wit of the Scene lies in a Shoulder belt, and sometimes in a Pair of whiskers.' [Footnote 443: _Spectator_, No. 44.]