World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives, British
When I got to the front I was attached to a signal company, which
consists of establishing communication between headquarters and three
brigades, and that meant when we were on the march riding through about
seven miles of troops, guns, waggons and hosts of other things. When in
action we had to go quite up to the firing line, and very soon I hardly
knew myself, as I got quite used to the bursting of shells and to the
shocking condition of the killed and wounded. It was astonishing to see
how soon men, who had been used to every comfort at home and who knew
nothing of war in any shape or form, got accustomed to the hardships of
campaigning and developed a callousness which is altogether foreign to
their real nature.
One of the most amazing things about the war is the way in which it
changes a man and makes him callous. I know that before I had anything
to do with the Army I was so sensitive in some ways that the mere
thought of blood was almost enough to make me ill, yet now, after being
for more than four months in the war, and having seen the havoc of the
most terrific battles the world has ever known, I tear along the lonely
roads and remain almost unmoved by the most dreadful sights. The dead
pass unnoticed, and as for the wounded, you can do nothing, as a rule.
You have your orders, and they must be obeyed without loss of time,
because a motor despatch-rider is always on the rush.
I well remember the very first German I saw lying dead. He was an Uhlan,
and was on the roadside. I was greatly distressed at the sight of him,
there was something so sad about it all, but now there is no such
sensation at the sight of even great numbers of the dead. A strange
thing happened in connection with the Uhlan. I took his cap as a
memento, and brought it home, with several other German caps and
helmets, chunks of shell, clips of cartridges, and relics of
altar-cloths; and now, for some cause which I can’t quite fathom, the
Uhlan’s cap has turned a queer sort of yellow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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