Do you know what life at a Mission outpost means? Try to imagine a
loneliness exceeding that of the smallest station to which Government
has ever sent you--isolation that weighs upon the waking eyelids and
drives you by force headlong into the labours of the day. There is
no post, there is no one of your own colour to speak to, there are no
roads: there is, indeed, food to keep you alive, but it is not pleasant
to eat; and whatever of good or beauty or interest there is in your
life, must come from yourself and the grace that may be planted in you.
In the morning, with a patter of soft feet, the converts, the doubtful,
and the open scoffers, troop up to the veranda. You must be infinitely
kind and patient, and, above all, clear-sighted, for you deal with the
simplicity of childhood, the experience of man, and the subtlety of
the savage. Your congregation have a hundred material wants to
be considered; and it is for you, as you believe in your personal
responsibility to your Maker, to pick out of the clamouring crowd any
grain of spirituality that may lie therein. If to the cure of souls you
add that of bodies, your task will be all the more difficult, for the
sick and the maimed will profess any and every creed for the sake of
healing, and will laugh at you because you are simple enough to believe
them.
As the day wears and the impetus of the morning dies away, there will
come upon you an overwhelming sense of the uselessness of your toil.
This must be striven against, and the only spur in your side will be the
belief that you are playing against the Devil for the living soul. It is
a great, a joyous belief; but he who can hold it unwavering for four
and twenty consecutive hours, must be blessed with an abundantly strong
physique and equable nerve.
Ask the gray heads of the Bannockburn Medical Crusade what manner of
life their preachers lead; speak to the Racine Gospel Agency, those lean
Americans whose boast is that they go where no Englishman dare follow;
get a Pastor of the Tubingen Mission to talk of his experiences--if you
can. You will be referred to the printed reports, but these contain no
mention of the men who have lost youth and health, all that a man may
lose except faith, in the wilds; of English maidens who have gone forth
and died in the fever-stricken jungle of the Panth Hills, knowing from
the first that death was almost a certainty. Few Pastors will tell you
of these things any more than they will speak of that young David of
St. Bees, who, set apart for the Lord's work, broke down in utter
desolation, and returned half distraught to the Head Mission, crying:
'There is no God, but I have walked with the Devil!'
The reports are silent here, because heroism, failure, doubt, despair,
and self-abnegation on the part of a mere cultured white man are things
of no weight as compared to the saving of one half-human soul from a
fantastic faith in wood-spirits, goblins of the rock, and river-fiends.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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