CAPT. M. If I thought that there was the least chance of your remembering anything for two consecutive minutes, I'd tell you. Stop passaging about like that! CAPT. G. (_Halting in the middle of the road_.) I say, Jack. CAPT. M. Keep quiet for another ten minutes if you can, you lunatic; and _walk!_ _The two tramp at five miles an hour for fifteen minutes_. CAPT. G. What's the time? How about that cursed wedding-cake and the slippers? They don't throw 'em about in church, do they? CAPT. M. In-variably. The Padre leads off with his boots. CAPT. G. Confound your silly soul! Don't make fun of me. I can't stand it, and I won't! CAPT. M. (_Untroubled_.) So-ooo, old horse! You'll have to sleep for a couple of hours this afternoon. CAPT. G. (_Spinning round_) I'm _not_ going to be treated like a dashed child. Understand that! CAPT. M. (_Aside_) Nerves gone to fiddle-strings. What a day we're having! (_Tenderly putting his hand on G's. shoulder_) My David, how long have you known this Jonathan? Would I come up here to make a fool of you-after all these years? CAPT. G. (_Penitently_.) I know, I know, Jack--but I'm as upset as I can be. Don't mind what I say. Just hear me run through the drill and see if I've got it all right:--- 'To have and to hold for better or worse, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, so help me God. Amen.' CAPT. M. (_Suffocating with suppressed laughter_) Yes. That's about the gist of it. I'll prompt if you get into a hat. CAPT. G. (_Earnestly_) Yes, you'll stick by me, Jack, won't you? I'm awf'ly happy, but I don't mind telling YOU that I'm in a blue funk! CAPT. M. (_Gravely_) Are you? I should never have noticed it. You don't LOOK like it. CAPT. G. Don't I? That's all right. (_Spinning round_.) On my soul and honour, Jack, She's the sweetest little angel that ever came down from the sky. There isn't a woman on earth fit to speak to Her. CAPT. M. (_Aside_.) And this is old Gaddy! (_Aloud_.) Go on if it relieves you. CAPT. G. You can laugh! That's all you wild asses of bachelors are fit for. CAPT. M. (_Drawling_.) You never WOULD wait for the troop to come up. You aren't quite married yet, y' know. CAPT. G. Ugh! That reminds me. I don't believe I shall be able to get into my boots. Let's go home and try 'em on! (_Hurries forward_.) CAPT. M. 'Wouldn't be in _your_ shoes for anything that Asia has to offer. CAPT. G. (_Spinning round_.) That just shows your hideous blackness of soul-your dense stupidity-your brutal narrow-mindedness. There's only one fault about you. You're the best of good fellows, and I don't know what I should have done without you, but-you aren't married. (_Wags his head gravely_.) Take a wife, Jack. CAPT. M. (_With a face like a wall_.) Ya-as. Whose for choice? CAPT. G. If you're going to be a blackguard, I'm going on--What's the time? CAPT. M. (_Hums_.)---