CAPT. M. Strike an attitude at the head of the aisle and wait for Her. (G. _groans as_ M. _wheels him into position before three hundred eyes._) CAPT. M. (_Imploringly._) Gaddy, if you love me, for pity's sake, for the Honour of the Regiment, stand up! Chuck yourself into your uniform! Look like a man! I've got to speak to the Padre a minute. (G. _breaks into a gentle perspiration._) If you wipe your face I'll _never_ be your best man again. Stand _up!_ (G. _trembles visibly._) CAPT. M. (_Returning._) She's coming now. Look out when the music starts. There's the organ beginning to clack. _Bride steps out of 'rickshaw at Church door._ G. _catches a glimpse of her and takes heart._ ORGAN.-- 'The Voice that breathed o'er Eden, That earliest marriage day, The primal marriage-blessing, It hath not passed away.' CAPT. M. (_Watching_ G.) By Jove! He _is_ looking well. 'Didn't think he had it in him. CAPT. G. How long does this hymn go on for? CAPT. M. It will be over directly. (_Anxiously._) Beginning to bleach and gulp? Hold on, Gaddy, and think o' the Regiment. CAPT. G. (_Measuredly._) I say, there's a big brown lizard crawling up that wall. CAPT. M. My Sainted Mother! The last stage of collapse! _Bride comes up to left of altar, lifts her eyes once to_ G. _who is suddenly smitten mad._ CAPT. G. (_To himself again and again._) Little Featherweight's a woman--a woman! And I thought she was a little girl. CAPT. M. (_In a whisper._) Form the halt--inward _wheel._ CAPT. G. _obeys mechanically and the ceremony proceeds._ PADRE. . . . only unto her as long as ye both shall live? CAPT. G. (_His throat useless._) Ha-hmmm! CAPT. M. Say you will or you won't. There's no second deal here. _Bride gives response with perfect coolness, and is given away by the father._ CAPT. G. (_Thinking to show his learning._) Jack, give me away now, _quick!_ CAPT. M. You're given yourself away quite enough. Her _right_ hand, man! Repeat! Repeat! 'Theodore Philip.' Have you forgotten your own name? CAPT. G. _stumbles through Affirmation, which Bride repeats without a tremor._ CAPT. M. Now the ring! Follow the Padre! Don't pull off my glove! Here it is! Great Cupid, he's found his voice! G. _repeats Troth in a voice to be heard to the end of the Church and turns on his heel._ CAPT. M. (_Desperately._) Rein back! Back to your troop! 'Tisn't half legal yet. PADRE. . . . joined together let no man put asunder. CAPT. G. _paralysed with fear jibs after Blessing._ CAPT. M. (_Quickly._) On your own front--one length. Take her with you. I don't come. You've nothing to say. (CAPT. G. _jingles up to altar._) CAPT. M. (_In a piercing rattle meant to be a whisper._) Kneel, you stiff-necked ruffian! Kneel! PADRE. . . . whose daughters are ye so long as ye do well and are not afraid with any amazement. CAPT. M. Dismiss! Break off! Left wheel! _All troop to vestry. They sign._ CAPT. M. Kiss Her, Gaddy.