“You're a bloomin' liar,” said Lew without heat.
“You're a bloomin' little barstard,” said Jakin, strong in the knowledge
that his own ancestry was unknown.
Now there is one word in the extended vocabulary of barrack-room abuse
that cannot pass without comment. You may call a man a thief and risk
nothing. You may even call him a coward without finding more than a boot
whiz past your ear, but you must not call a man a bastard unless you are
prepared to prove it on his front teeth.
“You might ha' kep' that till I wasn't so sore,” said Lew sorrowfully,
dodging round Jakin's guard.
“I'll make you sorer,” said Jakin genially, and got home on Lew's
alabaster forehead. All would have gone well and this story, as the
books say, would never have been written, had not his evil fate prompted
the Bazar-Sergeant's son, a long, employless man of five-and-twenty, to
put in an appearance after the first round. He was eternally in need of
money, and knew that the boys had silver.
“Fighting again,” said he. “I'll report you to my father, and he'll
report you to the Colour-Sergeant.”
“What's that to you?” said Jakin with an unpleasant dilation of the
nostrils.
“Oh! nothing to me. You'll get into trouble, and you've been up too
often to afford that.”
“What the Hell do you know about what we've done?” asked Lew the Seraph.
“You aren't in the Army, you lousy, cadging civilian.”
He closed in on the man's left flank.
“Jes' 'cause you find two gentlemen settlin' their diff'rences with
their fistes you stick in your ugly nose where you aren't wanted. Run
'ome to your 'arf-caste slut of a Ma--or we'll give you what-for,” said
Jakin.
The man attempted reprisals by knocking the boys' heads together. The
scheme would have succeeded had not Jakin punched him vehemently in
the stomach, or had Lew refrained from kicking his shins. They fought
together, bleeding and breathless, for half an hour, and, after heavy
punishment, triumphantly pulled down their opponent as terriers pull
down a jackal.
“Now,” gasped Jakin, “I'll give you what-for.” He proceeded to pound
the man's features while Lew stamped on the outlying portions of his
anatomy. Chivalry is not a strong point in the composition of the
average drummer-boy. He fights, as do his betters, to make his mark.
Ghastly was the ruin that escaped, and awful was the wrath of the
Bazar-Sergeant. Awful too was the scene in Orderly-room when the two
reprobates appeared to answer the charge of half-murdering a “civilian.”
The Bazar-Sergeant thirsted for a criminal action, and his son lied. The
boys stood to attention while the black clouds of evidence accumulated.
“You little devils are more trouble than the rest of the Regiment
put together,” said the Colonel angrily. “One might as well admonish
thistledown, and I can't well put you in cells or under stoppages. You
must be birched again.”
“Beg y' pardon, Sir. Can't we say nothin' in our own defence, Sir?”
shrilled Jakin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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