Solitude: With the Life of the Author. In Two PartsZimmermann, Johann Georg
Philosophy
Solitude: With the Life of the Author. In Two Parts
Zimmermann, Johann Georg
Solitude
The letters of Eloisa were soft, gentle, and endearing; but they breathed
the warmest language of tenderness and unconquerable passion. “I have
your picture,” says she, “in my room. I never pass by it without stopping
to look at it; and yet when you were present with me, I scarce even
cast my eyes upon it. If a picture, which is but a mute representation
of an object, can give such pleasure, what cannot letters inspire?
Letters have souls; they have in them all that force which expresses the
transports of the heart: they have all the fire of our passions; they
can raise them as much as if the persons themselves were present; they
have all the softness and delicacy of speech, and sometimes a boldness
of expression even beyond it. We may write to each other; so innocent a
pleasure is not forbidden us. Let us not lose, through negligence, the
only happiness which is left to us, and the only one perhaps, which the
malice of our enemies can never ravish from us. I shall read that you
are my husband, and you shall see me address you as a wife. In spite
of all your misfortunes, you may be what you please in your letters.
Letters were first invented for comforting such solitary wretches as
myself. Having lost the pleasure of seeing you, I shall compensate this
loss by the satisfaction I shall find in your writings: there I shall
read your most secret thoughts: I shall carry them always about me; I
shall kiss them every moment. If you can be capable of jealousy, let it
be for the fond curiosity I shall bestow on your letters, and envy only
the happiness of those rivals. That writing may be no trouble to you,
write always to me carelessly and without study: I had rather read the
dictates of the heart than of the brain. I cannot live, if you do not
tell me you always love me. You cannot but remember, (for what do not
lovers remember?) with what pleasure I have passed whole days in hearing
you discourse; how, when you was absent, I shut myself up from every one
to write to you; how uneasy I was till my letter had come to your hands;
what artful management was required to engage confidants. This detail,
perhaps, surprises you, and you are in pain for what will follow: but
I am no longer ashamed that my passion has had no bounds for you; for
I have done more than all this: I have hated myself that I might love
you. I came hither to ruin myself in a perpetual imprisonment, that I
might make you live quiet and easy. Nothing but virtue, joined to a love
perfectly disengaged from the commerce of the senses, could have produced
such effects. Vice never inspires any thing like this. How did I deceive
myself with the hopes that you would be wholly mine when I took the
veil, and engaged myself to live for ever under your laws! For, in being
professed, I vowed no more than to be yours only; and I obliged myself
voluntarily to a confinement in which you denied to place me. Death only
can make me leave the place where you have fixed me; and then too my
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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