England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Social aspects -- England -- Fiction
For a moment Tietjens saw the grey dawn at rail-head with the distant
sound of a ceaselessly boiling pot, from miles away! The army feeling
re-descended upon him. He began to talk about Command Depôts, at great
length and with enthusiasm. He snorted with rage at the way men were
treated in these gloomy places. With ingenious stupidity!
Every now and then the dark man interrupted him with:
"Don't forget that a Command Depôt is a place where sick and wounded go
to get made fit. We've got to get 'em back as soon as we can."
"And do you?" Tietjens would ask.
"No, we don't," the other would answer. "That's what this enquiry is
about."
"You've got," Tietjens would continue, "on the north side of a beastly
clay hill nine miles from Southampton three thousand men from the
Highlands, North Wales, Cumberland. . . . God knows where, as long as
it's three hundred miles from home to make them rather mad with
nostalgia. . . . You allow 'em out for an hour a day during the pub's
closing time: you shave their heads to prevent 'em appealing to local
young women who don't exist, and you don't let 'em carry the
swagger-canes! God knows why! To prevent their poking their eyes out, if
they fall down, I suppose. Nine miles from anywhere, with chalk down
roads to walk on and not a bush for shelter or shade . . . And, damn it,
if you get two men, chums, from the Seaforths or the Argylls you don't
let them sleep in the same hut, but shove 'em in with a lot of fat Buffs
or Welshmen, who stink of leeks and can't speak English. . . ."
"That's the infernal medicals' orders to stop 'em talking all night."
"To make 'em conspire all night not to turn-out for parade," Tietjens
said. "And there's a beastly mutiny begun. . . . And, damn it, they're
fine men. They're first-class fellows. Why don't you--as this is a
Christian land--let 'em go home to convalesce with their girls and pubs
and friends and a little bit of swank, for heroes? Why in God's name
don't you? Isn't there suffering enough?"
"I wish you wouldn't say 'you,'" the dark man said. "It isn't me. The
only A.C.I. I've drafted was to give every Command Depôt a cinema and a
theatre. But the beastly medicals got it stopped . . . for fear
of infection. And, of course, the parsons and Nonconformist
magistrates . . ."
"Well, you'll have to change it all," Tietjens said, "or you'll just
have to say: thank God we've got a navy. You won't have an army. The
other day three fellows--Warwicks--asked me at question time, after a
lecture, why they were shut up there in Wiltshire whilst Belgian
refugees were getting bastards on their wives in Birmingham. And when I
asked how many men made that complaint over fifty stood up. All from
Birmingham. . . ."
The dark man said:
"I'll make a note of that. . . . Go on."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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