England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Social aspects -- England -- Fiction
And she had never heard what had become of Mrs. Duchemin's baby. Next
day Mrs. Duchemin had been as suave, as circumspect, and as collected as
ever. Never a word more had passed between them on the subject. This
left in Valentine Wannop's mind a dark patch--as it were of murder--at
which she must never look. And across the darkened world of her sexual
tumult there flitted continually the quick suspicion that Tietjens might
have been the lover of her friend. It was a matter of the simplest
analogy. Mrs. Duchemin had appeared a bright being: so had Tietjens. But
Mrs. Duchemin was a foul whore. . . . How much more then must Tietjens,
who was a man, with the larger sexual necessities of the male . . . Her
mind always refused to complete the thought.
Its suggestion wasn't to be combated by the idea of Vincent Macmaster
himself: he was, she felt, the sort of man that it was almost a
necessity for either mistress or comrade to betray. He seemed to ask for
it. Besides, she once put it to herself, how could any woman, given the
choice and the opportunity--and God knows there was opportunity
enough--choose that shadowy, dried leaf, if there were the splendid
masculinity of Tietjens in whose arms to lie. She so regarded these two
men. And that shadowy conviction was at once fortified and appeased
when, a little later, Mrs. Duchemin herself began to apply to Tietjens
the epithets of "oaf" and "beast"--the very ones that she had used to
designate the father of her putative child!
But then Tietjens must have abandoned Mrs. Duchemin; and, if he had
abandoned Mrs. Duchemin, he must be available for her, Valentine Wannop!
The feeling, she considered, made her ignoble; but it came from depths
of her being that she could not control and, existing, it soothed her.
Then, with the coming of the war, the whole problem died out, and
between the opening of hostilities and what she had known to be the
inevitable departure of her lover, she had surrendered herself to what
she thought to be the pure physical desire for him. Amongst the
terrible, crashing anguishes of that time, there had been nothing for it
but surrender! With the unceasing--the never ceasing--thought of
suffering; with the never ceasing idea that her lover, too, must soon be
so suffering, there was in the world no other refuge. No other!
She surrendered. She waited for him to speak the word, or look the look
that should unite them. She was finished. Chastity: napoo finny! Like
everything else!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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