England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Social aspects -- England -- Fiction
"But what a beast I am!" she said, with a sudden intonation that was
exactly that of her daughter; and, drifting with a Victorian majesty of
shawl and long skirt behind Tietjens' high-backed chair, she leaned over
it and stroked the hair on his right temple:
"My dear boy," she said. "Life's a bitter thing. I'm an old novelist and
know it. There you are working yourself to death to save the nation with
a wilderness of cats and monkeys howling and squalling your personal
reputation away. . . . It was Dizzy himself said these words to me at
one of our receptions. 'Here I am, Mrs. Wannop,' he said. . . And . . ."
She drifted for a moment. But she made another effort: "My dear boy,"
she whispered, bending down her head to get it near his ear: "My dear
boy; it doesn't matter; it doesn't really matter. You'll live it down.
The only thing that matters is to do good work. Believe an old woman
that has lived very hard; 'Hard lying money' as they call it in the
navy. It sounds like cant, but it's the only real truth. . . . You'll
find consolation in that. And you'll live it all down. Or perhaps you
won't; that's for God in His mercy to settle. But it won't matter;
believe me, as thy day so shall thy strength be." She drifted into other
thoughts; she was much perturbed over the plot of a new novel and much
wanted to get back to the consideration of it. She stood gazing at the
photograph, very faded, of her husband in side-whiskers and an immense
shirt-front, but she continued to stroke Tietjens' temple with a
subliminal tenderness.
This kept Tietjens sitting there. He was quite aware that he had tears
in his eyes; this was almost too much tenderness to bear, and, at bottom
his was a perfectly direct, simple and sentimental soul. He always had
bedewed eyes at the theatre, after tender love scenes and so avoided the
theatre. He asked himself twice whether he should or shouldn't make
another effort, though it was almost beyond him. He wanted to sit still.
The stroking stopped; he scrambled on to his feet:
"Mrs. Wannop," he said, facing her, "it's perfectly true. I oughtn't to
care what these swine say about me, but I do. I'll reflect about what
you say till I get it into my system . . ."
She said:
"Yes, yes! My dear," and continued to gaze at the photograph:
"But," Tietjens said; he took her mittened hand and led her back to her
chair: "What I'm concerned for at the moment is not my reputation, but
your daughter Valentine's."
She sank down into the high chair, balloon-like and came to rest.
"Val's reputation!" she said, "Oh! you mean they'll be striking _her_
off their visiting lists. It hadn't struck me. So they will!" She
remained lost in reflection for a long time.
Valentine was in the room, laughing a little. She had been giving the
handy man his dinner, and was still amused at his commendations of
Tietjens.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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