She became passionately fond of Nature, both in its grander and more
minute charms, by day and by night. She has recorded how, while on a
visit to relatives at Gaillac, she would after going to bed often get
up, open the window and lean out to watch the stars. As this was
carrying her love of Nature a little too far, we cannot be surprised
that, having one night been discovered, her aunts took the precaution
of preventing her falling from the window by having it nailed up.
So long as the childhood of the little De Guérins lasted it was an
intensely happy one. But the time came all too soon when, for Eugénie,
the joys of childhood were to give place to almost mature care; when
her childish affection for her brother Maurice was to be succeeded by
an anxious and almost maternal solicitude. Madame de Guérin, for years
an uncomplaining sufferer, was taken from them when Eugénie was
thirteen, Maurice eight. The impression left upon her mind by her
mother's death was so great, and her grief so profound, that we find
her after a lapse of sixteen years recording her feelings thus in her
journal: "To-day my whole soul looks from the sky to a tomb, for on it
sixteen years ago my mother died at midnight. This sad anniversary is
consecrated to mourning and prayer. I have spent it before God in
regrets and in hope; even while I weep, I lift my eyes and see the
heavens where my mother is without doubt happy, for she suffered so
much! Her illness was long, and her spirit patient. I do not remember
a single complaint escaping her, or that she cried out at all,
notwithstanding the pain that tore her; no Christian ever bore
suffering better. One saw that she had learnt it before the Cross. She
would smile upon her bed like a martyr on the rack. Her face never
lost its serenity, and even in her agony she seemed to be thinking of
a festival. This surprised me who saw her suffer so much, and I myself
who wept at the least thing and knew not the meaning of resignation
under pain. And when they told me that she was going to die I looked
at her, and her cheerful aspect made me believe she would not. She did
die, however, at midnight on April 2, whilst I had fallen asleep at
the foot of her bed. Her quiet death did not waken me; never did soul
leave the world with more tranquillity.... I was led into another
room."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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