When a Case is _on_, the Lawyers begin to talk, and to read from the big books, on one side, and then on the other. Neither tries to get at the truth, but each in turn does his best to mislead the Judge. Both read from the interminable and conflicting Records, and both find ample records which fit the precise Case, which each contends for. The poor old Judge, now and again, takes a note of these quotations from the Big Books of records--for he is to decide not upon the equity but upon the records, as we have seen. By the time he has found his _spectacles_ [Qu-iei] he has forgotten the Book, the number, the Recorder's name, and the many other things, needful to find where the record is, and when he is again told, lifting up his wig-pallet, he only hears imperfectly, and _mistakes_. So, when, perhaps a long time after, he tries to make up a decree to fit the Case, the _record_ to which he turns refers to nothing in the world like what was intended! Hour after hour, and sometimes day after day, these speeches of the Lawyers go on. For the longer the talk the larger the _fees_--nobody thinks of Justice! The old Judge understands the trick of the _farce_ going on, perfectly well; in his younger days he was famous for his skill in all the arts of the High-Caste Lawyers, and obtained his present position on that account, and because others wanted to get a formidable rival out of the way; he understands how very little (but fees) is involved in the endless talk and reading, and begins to nod--even, the gods would nod. The Lawyer observes, stops a bit; the unexpected silence awakens the wearied old man--he opens his watery, blinking eyes, fumbles his papers, or takes a pinch of snuff, and says: "Go on, brother Bounce, I'm with you"--meaning he is attending to him; and soon falls asleep again. Perhaps one of the talking Lawyers is of the High Q.C. I am told that such is the dread of this Lawyer-Caste, that the Sovereign constantly flatters the tribe, and gives to them the _fattest_ [phig-sti] offices. All Judges and the Keeper of the Sovereign's Conscience--this Court--and a great many other most important places, and exaltation to the Highest Caste of Lords [Tchou], falls to them by established rule--in truth, the Caste is chief in the Law-making Houses, and, consequently, in Government itself. The Q.C. is, however, a thing done to many who cannot, as yet, get fees from the public treasure, that they may get them from out-siders more amply. The right to attach these symbols to the name of Lawyer also gives him a _silk gown_ (during the present reign) worked by the sacred hands of Royalty itself! The honoured wearer of this is a Q.C.--that is, Queen's Champion--and binds all its wearers to defend the Sacred Head (Pope) of the Superstition from the machinations of the Evil One, and those of their own order who, sold to the Devil, may possibly be put up by him to plot mischief, not only against the general outside world, but against "Crown and Altar!"