Of romances and novels there are no ends. With these and the newspapers the English Barbarians almost entirely occupy themselves, when they do read. The novels pretend to portray _life_, in its usual vicissitudes and with a natural show of the feelings. But the feeling depicted is that of Love, and the Life, the life of a Lover. In this curious creature, unknown in our Central Kingdom, the English young people of both sexes delight. I cannot describe him; he has no existence outside of a diseased brain. The great Shakespeare describes him, "Sighing like a furnace, with a woful ballad made to his mistress' eyebrow!" which will do as well as a more extended notice. There are _Metaphysical_ works. We have no term to represent it. It is a book which dimly suggests _phantoms_--things unseen, and not to be seen--mere words without bodies. Usually, making the matters of the common Worship still more inscrutable. Close to these, and blended often in a confused mixture with them--a compound defying all reasonable analysis--come the Philosophical. This term is a grand one with the Barbarians, and embraces all knowledge. The Philosophical writers pretend to the most exalted insight and outsight--they measure the whole infinite and finite, mind, matter, and the very nature of moral and divine things. The Philosopher loves Wisdom, and Wisdom loves and teaches him! Each philosopher, however, knowing everything, knows some things better than others; and usually exhibits to the world that _eccentricity_ by which he is known. He parades this on all public occasions of the _Literati_; and feels happy and serene mounted on his _Hobby-horse_ (again we have nothing to fit this word)--he appropriates the name of the ridden Hobby. Thus, some time since, one of these discovered and taught that man was an Ape--an Ape of high form. This discovery was not very well received; however, he was afterwards honoured by a title derived from his ancestor, and styled the _Simian_ philosopher. In the old Roman, _Simia_ means Ape. He is vulgarly and better known, however, as the Hobby-horse philosopher, from his own name, _Hobbs_! Just now, this speculation has revived again, with but slight change. One Darwin dreams of immortality from the usefulness of _his_ theory. In this, man no doubt is found in the _Simia_, but he _passes through_ that type; it is well enough to find there the immediate origin, but the true _germ_ lies further back among the _tadpoles_! I do not know what tadpoles are, and did not think it worth while to inquire. This philosophy, called Darwinian, is greatly admired for its profundity--especially by the select circle of Mutual Admiring Thinkers--but is strongly denounced by the Bonzes, and by the Halls of Learning and Literati of the Superstition. It makes man no immortal being at all, these say; and dethrones all the gods.